[ Featuring
Rachel Bay Jones, Bobby Cannavale, Amber Gray, Jeremy Shamos, 'Here We Are' Original Cast ]
[FRENCH WAITRESS, spoken]
Bienvenue to Bistro à la Mode
[MARIANNE, spoken]
I hate to ask, but could we have some water?
[FRENCH WAITRESS, spoken]
Water? You want water?
[LEO, spoken]
Lemme get this straight
Nothing here is what it seems?
[FRENCH WAITRESS, spoken]
Non, non, non, that is passé
Our new menu is post-déconstructif
Everything now is what it is
[FRENCH WAITRESS]
We have boeuf—
That is actual boeuf—
On the actual hoeuf
We have pigeon that's made out of pigeon
And a green salad
Made of just greens
[OFFSTAGE ENSEMBLE]
Ah
[CLAUDIA, spoken]
How is the pigeon prepared?
[FRENCH WAITRESS]
Does it matter?
What does anything matter?
It is what it is
Things are what they are
La vie est la vie
[LEO, spoken]
Okay. Everybody know what they want?
[FRENCH WAITRESS]
Do we know what we want?
Does anyone know what they want?
As soon as we know what we want
And find what we want
Life, she spits in our face
*Spits*
[PAUL, spoken]
Any specials?
[FRENCH WAITRESS]
Black bean soup
Blackened catfish
Blackbird pudding
Boudin noir
Black Sea blackberries
In a chocolate gateau
[FRENCH WAITRESS, spoken]
Dark chocolate
Dark, dark, dark...
[LEO, sopken]
Chicken Basquaise, baby
That's what I want
[FRENCH WAITRESS]
Sometimes you want too much too soon—
And then it's too late
But what can you do
If that's on your plate?
You do what you can
[More crying.]
[MARIANNE, spoken]
What's going on back there?
[FRENCH WAITRESS, spoken]
Nothing, nothing
C'est rien là
[MARIANNE, spoken]
Is that a private room?
[FRENCH WAITRESS]
It is nothing, really
[MARIANNE, spoken]
But I adore private rooms
[A body is revealed behind the curtain, laid out for a funeral.]
[CLAUDIA]
Oh
My
God
[ENSEMBLE]
Ah
[PAUL, spoken]
Philippe!
[ENSEMBLE]
Ah
[LEO, spoken]
That's Philippe?
[FRENCH WAITRESS, spoken]
That was Philippe
[LEO, spoken]
Yeah, but he's just kidding, right?
[FRENCH WAITRESS, spoken]
Monsieur, he was French
He have no sense of humor
[FRENCH WAITRESS]
He was what he was
We are what we are
It is what it is
So, are we ready to order?