Ever since I was in second grade
I dreamed of this moment
To stand here in front of you all with
My most personal items
The following are what I'd like
To share with you
I have a boom box
Which my uncle gave me
A couple piano keys
Which I found in my basement
My bulldog's ear fur
Which I had a hard time getting
Wait that's the wrong speech
I am here running for governor
Of the Ear Hole political campaign
I know we've had our differencess
But that doesn't mean you shouldn't vote for me
I'm sorry about that dog I kicked
That light I ran through
That girl I killed
That conspiracy I was behind
And for that klarm hiffer that I ate
I have a boom box
Which my uncle gave me
A couple piano keys
Which I found in my basement
My bulldog's ear fur
Which I had a hard time getting
I Jeremiah Blogstein promise
To keep all your secrets secret
And all your taxes something
I can't read that cue card back there
Uh I'm not sure what to do right now
Um ladies and gentlemen
I'd just like to adjust the volume
For just one second
While I totally rock out this conference room
(Turn up the volume)
Go Blogstein
Bo Glogstein