zazel eyes - self-medication Lyrics

Niggas, crackers, I want dead
Across united states
You can't break away from hate
So now I'll make you feel the pain
No complacence, conversations
That would make you spill your brains
If my brain still wasn't burning
Would I really feel the same
Cause I been smokin', I been drinkin'
Getting dizzy every day
And I'm so stupid, I'm so useless
Let my mental fade in place
Can't think about what lay behind
If I keep myself in this haze
And babe don't look at me that way
I know it's me who's full of hate
Cause I keep it tucked, and I get f*cked up
Don't know how I wake up the next day
And I get no dubs, and I get no love
And I stay locked up, baby close the gate
When you want that shit, you don't take that shit
Then you just take shit when you look away
And I feel like shit, and I wish this bitch
In my mirror would finally go away
Man, are you okay? no I'm not okay
So get the f*ck up out my way
Cause I might go cray, yeah I might go cray
Boy I'm on the edge, don't you play with me
And when it crack and I start hack-and-slashing
Hack my shit and chase me down
And tell me how you found
That Zay has lost his f*cking way
And I ain't got what I needed, cause it wasn't what I want
And when I get what I need babe, is it ever what I want?
Let the time pass by, baby lets fly high
Like the smoke we rise, like the smoke, we rise
Let the time pass by, baby lets fly high
Like the smoke we rise, like the smoke, we rise
Niggas, crackers, i want dead
Across united states
I can't break away from hate
So now all i can feel is pain
So complacent, conversations
Make me wanna spill my brains
If the world wasn't still burning
Would i really feel the same
'Cause in my loneliness I find that holiness
Doesn't hold up against
Depressive tendencies, lifetimes I surely missed
Is there a cure for this
Dependencies that worsen my psychology
Can't find no bliss
Can't run from demons that invade my privacy
Ain't built for this
Give up my consciousness, escape to someplace
Temporary since
Eventually, the demons rise again
Only the time depends
I stay inside the haze, keep them away
But there's a cost to this
Awakening another beast within
I guess I'll tell you this;
I'm still stuck living on the timeline
Wondering if I'll ever be freer
But I don't deserve to be outside
This fear keeps me where I can't see her
If I'm honest I don't really wanna die but
No, I don't really wanna live neither
This world ain't for me to survive in
But if I pass, I ain't goin' to no aether
And I ain't got what I needed, cause it wasn't what I want
And when I get what I need babe, is it ever what I want?
Let the time pass by, baby lets fly high
Like the smoke we rise, like the smoke, we rise
Let the time pass by, baby lets fly high
Like the smoke we rise, like the smoke, we rise