Zayy - conversations with god Lyrics

Heavenly Father
I know a song like this has been long awaited.
I know it's been a minute since I've sat down
And had a conversation with you
Lemme start by thanking you for giving me this outlet
All these years that I've been making projects
I've never stopped and thanked you for all of it
These last few months have been quite a challenge
I'm sure you know what's been going on
Lots of doubts have been surrounding love
And just having trouble knowing who to trust
I asked for signs, and you gave them to me
But I never listened to what I should have done
In the end, I end up hurting more
But I know the problem don't have you involved
I've been praying more, I've been reaching out
And my faith's been growing since I was a kid
While growing up, I never had a doubt
That you'd stick beside me during all the twists
That came my way
Paranoid that what I might be doing isn't worth the pain
But I took the page, then I tore it out
And I wrote my own story and made a change.
You gave me strength to take the steps it takes to heal into a better person
I thank you deeply for having faith
But God, I ask, why's it all this hurting?
Why do I have to fight through all this pain and anger just to find my purpose?
When's it all gonna prove it's worth it?
I've been asking questions hoping I deserve
Some answers. I lost my love
And my best friend's now up above with you
Is she okay? Did she find peace?
Did you save her soul from all the pain?
Hoping one day I'll see her again
With my grandpa when I'm in my grave
I got a lot of time left on my plate
And I know it's true with how Sheena saved

My life, that night
It could've been me in that crash
I don't really like thinking about that
But I know me living isn't made up by chance
I tried taking a step back, but it wouldn't make sense if I did that
Cause if you set all this stuff in play for me to take chance
Then I might just play with the dang hand
That I'm dealt. Pushing forward
Never slowing for another person
But bringing hope to the ones who are hurting
THAT'S the reason that I'm on this earth
To spread a message of eternal love
To show to others how to rise above
Even if it's hard and I also struggle
But I know it's worth all the sweat and blood
That I'm pouring, every second of my day
I don't think I'll ever be okay
But I'm fine with that, if I can keep this fight
Inspire people, to look for the light
God, thank you for the time you spent
Giving me the drive to never end
I never doubted, not a single second
The entire time that I have been alive

At least, not doubting you
I doubt myself every single day
I don't know if I'm worth the pain
Some days, I can barely breathe
Stay up late or I can barely eat
Recent problems kept me unstable
Broke me harder but I gotta play
By the game of life, and take what I get
Can't spend time wishing for something else
At least I used to think that it was the truth
Till I started talking to and listened to you
I trust you will keep me in your arms
Hold me close, keep me from the dark
Give me light, promise to take it far
Till my final breath, Lord, I've had enough

The stuff I think and the things I'm afraid of
Pulling me down, and I can't get the weight up
But I gotta stay strong for my parents and my sisters
Giving them all I got, till my death bed
Fight for Sheena, and I'll fight for Grandpa
I promise that I'll give you all I can, God
Help me battle with all my demons
Gain the strength that I thought was leaving
This right here's how I'll live my life
Making music till the day I die
Cause Sheena told me that's the plan with life
When she spoke to you, and she spread the light
I thank you father, always love to say it
So I'll keep the mini little record playing
In my heart and soul, till I'm on the way up
In Jesus name I pray, Amen