Endeavoring Video (MV)

Calling from the bottom as the weight beats down on me
Falling into order once again excellence keeps
Me from having peace I know that I need to be free
I am afraid that I will forever be endeavoring
Hey look at me I'm broken welcome the reality and let it soak in
Trying my hardest and really hoping that I'll be perfect one that I designed to show them
Putting on a mask just to be on the right side
Holding onto my charade like it's the only lifeline
Being on your good side is where I bide my time I grind I try long sigh that's fine, all lies!
Filling in the gap I'm the missing link
But the more I seem to struggle is the more I seem to sink
Stretching myself just to fill the brink
But you're getting really far away I watch you shrink
I need your help I cannot do this on my own
And if you refuse to help me and I'm all alone
Then I will not try to be the good guy anymore
Cause we differ in our vigor to be perfect souls
See I know that I'm not perfect but I try to be
And when I am falling short will you just lie to me
Tell me that we're striving to derive the side of me
That's on everybody's good side when you cry to me
And if I can find him life will be so effortless
For another span of time that we can only guess
How long it is before it turns into a mess
And when it comes I'll try to fix it in my stress
Cause I'm dying in depression and I'm getting scared
I didn't ask for this journey and I'm unprepared
And I'm worried what will happen when it's too much to bear
And I don't know if I'll make it because I'm hanging by a prayer
Please I promise I will be there for you when you need
A shoulder you can lean on when you disagree
And I need you to return the favor when I bleed all of my things
That I have failed on my defeats so I can finally be free!
Hey look at me unfocused
Do not get me wrong I understand that I'm so blessed
But I feel that I have got the wrong focus
I'm about to tell you don't look at me like I'm soulless
I've been focused on everyone else except for me
And while that might be so selfless it is hindering
Cause while I am helping you I am hurting me
And I need a little time to focus on my needs
So look at me like I'm selfish but the truth is out
And if you will give me time then I will come around
And I feel that I will benefit us both in our
Relationship if I'm allowed to fix myself
Because I want to help you out but I need to heal
From the wounds I've brought upon myself that I should deal
With I will not try to make it less than real
Because stuff in this song and the next I will not try to conceal!
Calling from the bottom as the weight beats down on me
Falling into order once again excellence keeps
Me from having peace I know that I need to be free
I am afraid that I will forever be endeavoring
Calling from the bottom as the weight beats down on me
Falling into order once again excellence keeps
Me from having peace I know that I need to be free
I am afraid that I will forever be endeavoring
Endeavoring