Yusuf Tali - A Message to My Estranged Mother (I Am You) Lyrics

I'm talking from the heart
The heart is where this all began
I feel like this is my fifth time tryna tell y'all how I feel
My adolescence makes me always question
If I'm good enough to keep up in y'all mentions
I guess I'm guessing imma need His blessings to let me understand the way that I'm nice with the pen
Then reality sets In
No more time for self love
Imma watch over you from high above
This constant doubt
Makes me go crazy
I can't do this anymore
All my feeling been ignored
Talking in cursive
When I'm talking in first person
Excuse me allah for all this cursing
For this passion I am burning
And constantly learning how to deal with myself
I don't need no therapist I'd rather go through this myself
Like a wilting flower, I'm running out of water
I been sucked dry, never again high on life
So I gotta let go
So I gotta let me
Be what I can be
Do you understand me?
Let me get to explaining
Moderate progressions in life oh my
When will I finally decide to let loose
I remember one day when I was 12
Running from home tryna be wild and out
So I was wild and thrown out the house
And kept running to my ex girl house tryna talk it up
Tryna get some more clout
So I dipped out
Then I was taken into a mental facility
Tryna have all them doctors lecture me
And eventually
I told them niggas what was wrong with me
I always wanted to die
Or I always wanted to cry
Or I always wanted to cut myself
I wasnt happy
Matter of fact if matter was fact imma tell this cold heart fact
I was upset
Why my momma never want me
Why my momma wanted to kill me?
Why momma why
Yeah that's a child's cries
Then I grew older
Looking back at the many nights
Where I tried to write my wrongs into rights
Saying f*ck that bitch
Why the f*ck should I ever have to care about you?
The only thing I want is my money
You owe me 18 years of backpay
So i'll gladly outstretch my hands
Put it in my bank account and conquer all the lands
You understand?
This life ain't nothing to f*ck with
So this
Is me in my dream world
Owning the worlds money
Four eyes, with four wives, and a good deen
And good clean where the cooks be and the rapping as I stay cooking in the kitchen
And then have all my children
But without the drama
I wish
But that type of life is hard to accomplish
Especially with my complexion
Especially when I don't know how to show my affection
To the girl i'll always love
So f*ck it
Never mind me
Inshallah i'll one day blow up
And leave you all behind
I don't need Chicago
Chicago needs me
Tryna spread the world with more positivity
But then again
I don't like America
Imma pop on to London
Making an arm and a dozen
And do it again like a white gunmen
I'm the middle man to the my eternal peace
Uchiha Madara had the right idea but the wrong execution
Chidori on my lifestyle
Imma go to bed and then meanwhile
Everyone just gonna turn on me
Just cause my name is Yusuf Tali
But f*ck it
Everyone switching up
As long as I got myself I'm fine
Let me celebrate my birthday on before the Fourth of July
Independence Day
Where ironically I'm not free
From this cage of depression
If I really wanted to I'd end it all with no question
But I'm fighting against the urge
Cause first I gotta try and make it in the game
Amateratsu spit black flames
And then after that i'll finally fade away
If allah takes me or if I take myself
I know either way
I'll finally be happy
Instead of being so dark and depressing
This song is a sign of distress
But y'all never listened to me when I was here so I digress