You can't tell me how I feel I've been in too much pain for so long, so long, so long
So I'ma hit this joint until there ain't no more Hope this shit can fill the void because I can't no more
Been in so much pain for so long, so long, so long
This shit won't ever be the same
Where do I start? It feels like my life has been falling apart
I'm calling to God cause I need his help I can't deal with this shit when I'm all by myself
And God I know this isn't good for my health If I keep holding back then I know I'ma fail
It's starting to feel like we living in hell
This negative energy starting to phase me Trying to do better within and take it one day at a time
But my mindset is hazy Dealing with loss, trust and lust
It's like I've been losing focus on it daily The devil been working hard to distract me
I keep giving in every time he will bait me In the span of 365 days I've went through the worst
Papa was hurting and left us concerned Just waking up when I found out the news
In shock cause I didn't believe it at first Saw him laid out on the stretcher, I burst into tears
Feeling guilty I wasn't around him enough Through these past couple years
Seeing my mother cry had me stressed There's only so much I could do
She didn't have a father figure So my grandpa was all she was looking up to
Grandma was devastated Can't imagine what went through her head
She checked in the hospital months later The family called me and said she was dead
Now shit ain't the same
You can't tell me how I feel I've been in too much pain for so long, so long, so long
So I'ma hit this joint until it ain't no more Hope this shit can fill the void because I can't no more
Been in so much pain for so long, so long, so long
This shit won't ever be the same
It might take me a while to heal After my grandma passed away
I'm realizing that I don't have any time to kill I'm feeling guilt about it cause she always would ask
Why I didn't see her as much Should've been keeping in touch with the fam
Instead I was partying and getting drunk
Always check up on your people You never know when they'll be gone
I give my life away to tell my grandma I love her There's nothing else that I would want
Can't take shit for granted I know that God can take whatever he handed
Wasn't aware of the blessings I had I got a little older now I understand it
Still in denial that this shit really happened
For the sake of my family I gotta achieve So many people depending on me
Determined to work through the pain and the grief
Although the weight on my shoulders gets harder to heave
I'm pushing it through We survived hurt and hard times
Feeling like there wasn't much we could do Better days yet to come
The stars will align Coming out stronger we destined to shine
Won't let defeat be a thought in my mind I'm putting the negative shit to the side
Shit won't ever be the same But I gotta keep faith in my heart
When everything's falling apart I know it gets rough
Just take a step back Reset and restart
You can't tell me how I feel I've been in too much pain for so long
So long, so long
So I'ma hit this joint until there ain't no more
Hope this shit can fill the void because I can't no more
Been in so much pain for so long
So long, so long
This shit won't ever be the same