Yung Goof - Three Jokes Lyrics

This song is three jokes
Three jokes is this song
Some of them I wrote, others I did not
But I'm the first to rap and that's what counts when it's all done
Okay, we got joke number one
On a bench sat a murderer and a masochist as well
A masochist is someone who loves to hurt themselves
A zoophile, pedophile, and necrophile also sat
With the masochist, murderer, and there was a pyromaniac
The zoophile says let's have sex with a cat
The pedophile says or a kitten perhaps
The murderer says after that, let's kill the kitten
Then the necrophile says and let's f*ck it again then
The pyromaniac says okay, first sex, then kill it
Then sex again, and after that let's burn the kitten
Then there was a silence where nobody made a sound
Until the masochist finally spoke up and he said meow
This song is three jokes
Three jokes is this song
Some of them I wrote, others I did not
But I'm the first to rap them make them funky and cool
Alright, here comes joke number two
So, a cowboy was out riding his horse along the trail
When he saw a naked man tied toa tree screaming Help!
He said whoa Nelly and trotted up on his steer
He said well, son, how in the hell did you end up here
The man said I was jumped by Jesse James
Yeah, him and his gang, they beat me up, and then they
Uh, they, well, with me they had their way
The cowboy walks up, unzips his pants and says
Boy, this just ain't your day
This song is three jokes
Three jokes is this song
Some of them I wrote
Others I did not
But I'm the first to rap that make them crisp and clean
Uh-huh, here comes joke number three
So five nuns die in a car crash, and oh, just wait
They all go to heaven, and they're standing at the pearly gates
St. Peter is there, and to his right is a bowl of holy water
The nuns get in line, fervently praying to the Holy Mother
St. Peter announces that in order for them to enter in
They had to clean their flesh of their past sins
Into the holy water, they must dip the flesh that once touched
Any part of another man's junk
The first one bows her head and says well, I touched one once
She dipped her finger in the water, and through the gates she rushed
The second one said well, one time, I held a man's part
She dipped her whole hand in, and through the gates she embarked
Then all of a sudden, some yelling caused Peter to raise his eyes
He saw a commotion coming from the back of the line
Ladies, ladies, what's going on? Peter asked them this
And one nun said well, I want to gargle the water before Mary puts her ass in it
This song was three jokes
Three jokes was this song
Some of them I wrote
Others I did not
But I'm the first to rap them, and damn it, that's what counts
I hope y'all laughed, but it's my time to bounce