25 more jokes Video (MV)

"I'm sippin' chai tea
And chai actually means tea, so it's kind of like I'm sippin' tea tea,
Which is, uh, pretty gross"
The last song was three jokes, but I'm a witty guy
This time I've got more, so many more. Twenty-five
If you don't like dark humor, then here is your warning
Skip this song now or you'll regret it sorely
I'll give them a second to skip real quick
Okay, cool. Now I should be talking to only the realest
Brace yourself, cause we got a bumpy ride
Here we go, we're starting with joke one of twenty-five
As a medical professional, there's an area that's grayish
On whether I should or should not have sex with patients
Well, either way it happened, and to myself I said
"Just finish up the autopsy, you're still a good vet" (Ah)
I saw a midget on a bike and thought, "hey, that's mine"
So I ran home, I was scared out of my mind
I sprinted into the garage and then, phew
My midget was still locked up and begging for food (Oh my God)
What's worse than burning your hand on a coffee pot?
Well, for starters, the Holocaust
What's better than winning a contest for special needs artists?
Not being retarded
A dump truck hit a speed bump and it was no big deal
Except a dildo bounced out and it hit our windshield
My daughter asked me, "what was that"
And I said, a moth
She said, "Jesus, how does it fly with such a big cock"
Joke, so I got plenty of them
What's the best thing about f*cking twenty five year olds?
There's twenty of them (Hahaha)
What's the hardest part of cooking vegetables
Getting the wheelchair and the oven (Jesus)
My father got shot and dammit, he done died
And it's all because I didn't know his blood type
"B positive, B positive"
He kept on screaming aloud
I said, I'm trying, but it's hard when you're bleeding out
Little Johnny and Mary got caught playing doctors
So the school called to tell Johnny's father
He replied, "At their age, sex is normal to be curious about"
They said, "Sex? He took her f*cking appendix out"
Driving cars, you all know why Helen Keller couldn't
Duh, obviously because she's a woman
Speaking of Helen Keller, what's an easy way of hurting her? (Hmm)
Rearranging her furniture
Between Santa and Michael Jackson, what's the diffy?
They both leave children's houses with their sacks empty
My girlfriend called me a pedophile (That's cold)
Huh, big word coming from a twelve-year-old
What's the difference between a Pakistani preschool and an Al Qaeda outpost?
I don't know man, I just fly the drones
What's the difference between a silver medalist and a Catholic rabbi?
They both came in a little behind
Who are the world's fastest readers
9-11 victims
They went through 90 stories in like 10 seconds
What would Kobe be doing if the chopper didn't off him
Probably scratching at his coffin
After the birth of a man's child, the doctor came out to blurt
There's good news and bad news, which do you want first
The bad news? Your child's a ginger
Well what's the good news? That he died as a stillbirth
What did the Boston Bombers have that Hitler couldn't attain
The ability to end a race (F*ck)
How is getting a Jewish girl's number achieved
Just reach down and pull up a sleeve (No)
I asked my girlfriend if we could try my rape fantasy and she said never
Dude, best night ever
What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest
Acne comes on their face after they're thirteen
If Africa had just a few more mosquito nets in place
We could save millions of mosquitoes from getting AIDS
What's 9 inches long and helps me get any girl I like
I'm sure you guessed it. My knife
That was 24 jokes, meaning we have one left
Of course my final joke is going to be my best
This joke made me laugh until I had a hurt belly
What do you call a pedophile pirate
Wait for it
Arrgh, Kelly