Heart is racing, I'm still chasing
That sweet high, there's no escaping
Tried and tried, still I keep on breaking
Can't resist cause I got that craving
To get so high I don't know what's real
Popping pills is the only way I can feel
Any happiness, and I must confess
I repress and obsess then get stressed and depressed
Cause I'm lost in my life, lost the will, lost the fight
But this pill can and will, make it look like I'm alright
But I'm not, I'm distraught, I got a lot of awful thoughts
So I hide it deep inside, all the pain and tears I've cried
Cause I'm flat-lining and I'm done trying
To make it seem like I'm okay cause inside I'm dying
And hiding in silence from the demons that I'm fighting
It's frightening, how I feel so bad but still I'm smiling
And trying to know the reason I'm alive, can't find it
And I wish that life was like I tape, I could rewind it
I'm tired, I quit, giving up on this shit
I admit it, I don't fit in, yeah I'm gonna f*cking lose it
So when I wake one day, and you hear me say
I'm sick of being fake, sick of all the heartache
And the pills I take can never satiate
My urge to feel great 'til it's way too late
Just don't be surprised when you open your eyes
See it was all lies and I wasn't fine
Hoping that I'd die, finally say goodbye
To the world, just cause everyone ignored the signs
Cause I'm flat-lining, mental state's declining
Searching for my purpose, but I just can't find it
Say I have a problem, but I'll just deny it
Looking for my answer so I'm getting high and
Trying to make all my problems disappear
Cause they won't be solved with thoughts or prayers
No I can't repair the damage done upstairs
I've been lost for years, but feels like nobody cares
Heart is aching, is it love or drugs?
These pills I'm taking, think I took too much
My heart rate's rising, but I'm still denying
Is it worth surviving? Am I worth reviving?
Clear!
Cause I'm flat-lining and it's way too late
I'm overdosing on the pills I crave
I gave it my all, now I'm in my grave
A slave to the drug and now I'm slain
And so honestly when eventually
I finally end it and I set myself free
Pray that I'm the only person that I'm gonna make bleed
Cause my violent thoughts, yeah they're killing more than me
Now I'm flat-lining, yeah this is my last stand
And I'm reaching out cause I need a hand
Cause I'm drowning now, need to understand
Just why I'm on Earth and who I really am
You know I'm praying for repentance
Yeah I swear that I'm regretting
Ever getting so dependent
Pain is feeling like it's endless
And I'm tired of pretending
So don't say you were my friend when
I once and for all just end it
Saying f*ck it and full send it
So when you're at my funeral, you'll say you never saw it coming
But you saw the signs, just decided to ignore 'em
Now I'm giving up cause my life is kinda boring
Just one last thing 'fore I send my soul up soarin'
If you're ever in doubt, or your friend looks down
Just f*cking reach out, try and give a shit about
If he lives or dies, you could save a life
Just by asking "Hey Casper, are you doing alright?"