December 23rd Video (MV)

Reminsicing back to when opinions didn't matter
But fact is they started sticking now I'm stuck in my thoughts and
They started shifting I've been lost for so long in these damn abysses
I been shooting my shots and they count the
Misses now your stacking the bricks and they show our difference
I'm not looking for this and you painted pictures
Of a life we would live now there's tainted windows
I tried breaking the sill but you tell me it's real and I know that
It's not and I hate how it feels I wish it would stop all the time that it steals
I'm locked in my room and you read me
My the spiel control everything from my head to my heel f*ck it man
I wish I could run away all these problems
Wanna make me stay this town this school man the bullshits cray
I just desperately wanna make an escape From
My head these people and the things they say man none of it's fair
Ain't gotta be this way aye I'm so insecure I put it
On others I can't love myself man ain't it something
My thoughts are suicidal fearing what's coming the only
Keeping me here is my mother I'll never leave her feeling lone
When she slumbers we fight to often but she knows
I love her I owe her everything me and my brothers gonna make it big
One way or another gonna buy her house
And everything she wanted yuh everything she wanted
It's what she deserves imma keep it running

Cause we all kids and we all got pain and we all see ghosts
And no I'm not playin cause my thoughts get big and I
Think about praying but the man upstairs really know
I'm not staying faithful I wish was I wish I had something to
Believe in for once December 23rd man
I hate when it comes yea I hate when it comes

You always on my mind shits astonishing these temptations man
They looking promising these side effects are
Gonna kill your harvesting it's eating me alive what the problem is
I don't f*cking know why it's bothering me and
I got these drugs and I contemplate could
I see whether it's pills or smoking the reef this ain't the way that I want it
Be cause then if I'm turning to you to be free
And then I'm just drowning again in a sea and then my ruts cut
Repeatedly and then I'll never get over the killing sprees
That's happening inside all of our heads and it's hard Cope
Without taking the meds all the pain that broke me
And the things I said and these apologies I write again and
Again I blame it on you but in the end it's falling on me
When I hurt my kin I fights the feelings but they always win
Man I been repenting can't escape my sins this pen has written all the things
I did and ways I felt letting no one in
This my one confession to all my friends you f*cking saved me
When my will was thin a f*cking thank you has
Been due for a min cause you showed me life the way
I wanna live when I was down and out you went and raised
My spirits I can't put into words what you meant to me
Lift the stress off my back let my mental breathe car rides
That we had weekendly all the times that you said
I should rhyme on a beat yea you'll always have a spot at my crib
When you need cause all the time that we were spending
Took my mind off the thoughts of my life ending and I
Never had a way to express this to you so I make this song now
And I hope that you hear it you know who you are

Cause we all kids and we all got pain and we all see ghosts
And no I'm not playin cause my thoughts get big and I
Think about praying but the man upstairs really know
I'm not staying faithful and I wish was I wish I had
Something to believe in for once December 23rd man
I hate when it comes yea I hate when it comes

You made it this far now there's no giving up
Your only 18 filled half of your cup I was a narcissistic pessimistic
F*ck but now I see light everytime I'm stuck
Cause I got so much support what the f*ck man my dreams coming
True if it sucks so what man I love being here never keep it tucked
I'm outspoken when you talking bout us and I'll
Never be alone cause I know I'm enough god this life
I'm living filled with so much stuff for me to be grateful for
Aye and I wouldn't change a thing all those nights
When I couldn't f*cking sleep all these fake friends looking over
Me and all these people tell me what I couldn't be
So imma show em wrong when I'm on tmz because I'm on a date
With Alicia keyz I'm looking forward to the future
And the subsidies and all the songs I'll write man I'll get jay z on
A feature one day on a Ronny j beat cause imma be big with these goals
I seek I'll never forget the times I was weak
And you were right there standing next to me you made me
Who I am never forgetting when I first heard wolf I
Was relating to how I wanted my life to be
I wanna help others the way you helped me fight there Demons so one
Day they see that this life's worth living you matter
When you speak you just gotta find a way to go express these
Thoughts in your brain you gotta take a leap of faith yuh aye
I was blind to this I thought I couldn't win and now I
Take my blessings and I soak em in sometimes
You have to be broken to realize how good your life is

Cause we all kids and we all got pain and we all see ghosts
And no I'm not playin cause my thoughts get big and I
Think about praying but the man upstairs really know
I'm not staying faithful and I wish was Now I have
Something to believe in for once December 23rd man
I love when it comes yea I love when it comes