xan dior - deep end Lyrics

Been floatin' like a paraglider, always need a high
Runnin' from my demons, but there's not a place to hide
Feelings locked up in a kennel, if it gets out, it'll bite
Stay sayin' that I'm chillin', but I wanna scream and cry

Been fightin' demons for so long, I'm turnin' out alright
Throw my hands up in the air like I got caught by flashin' lights
Yeah, I still miss my dad, but I've been sleepin' hella good at night
Yeah, I really don't need you, just think I want you out of spite

Been lockin' in all day and havin' my mood swings at night
I've been spinnin' round the block, but I've been runnin' outta fight
Been poppin' all these pills and I've been runnin' outta sight
Like the way you f*ck me up, but I'm the one that made you cry

Because you throw me in a loop and I get stuck, yeah, I get stuck
I don't know what to do, my mind is stuffed, my life is rough
You still throw me in the deep end, tyin' weights around my waist
Paranoid from all the trauma, maybe I'm just a nutcase

Hundred feet is where my coffin goes, I'll get inside today
Hyper fixated on problems that just never go away
Hyper fixated on problems that just never go away
Been practicin' my swings, I'll never step up to the plate

Yeah, I'm steppin' on a gas, but prone to always lose the race
Runnin' from my feelings at a reasonable pace
Yeah, why'd you have to do me dirty and give me all these scrapes
Like I wasn't there for you and you always just chose the fakes

Now you're movin' kinda slimey, you're movin' kinda like a snake
Yeah, I'm bound to cut you off, it's just a matter of the date
So I pull myself and drive and put the pedal to the floor
Yeah, I'm windin' up these back roads, I should probably take it slow

But I turn my headlights off and just start whippin' it some more
And I really wish that you could reap the shit that you sow
All this trauma from my dad, I'll block it out some more
I was at a whole ass sprint, but gotta check up on my pulse

I'm almost out this town, I always see my father's ghost
No more runnin', it's time for me to really just let you know
That You throw me in a loop and I get stuck, yeah, I get stuck
I don't know what to do, my mind is stuffed, my life is rough

You still throw me in the deep end, tyin' weights around my waist
Paranoid from all the trauma, maybe I'm just nutcase
Hundred feet is where my coffin goes, I'll get inside today
Hyperfixated on problems that just never go away