Am I alive?
Awake?
Conscious?
Can I permit myself to feel?
Where have the years gone?
Can I waste this perfect day inside my room?
I've never asked for live, yet I still breathe
Thrust into existence against my will
I don't want to die
I just hate being alive
I died long before I pulled the trigger
I gave up long before finding answers
Psychosis set in weeks ago
I can't separate myself from fantasy
I have hated myself for such a long time
I forgot why I ever even started
Am I even alive?
Or am I bleeding out in my car?