Spill Video (MV)

Is it selfish to feel sorry for myself
Plenty others have it worse than me, plenty others are sad
And I can say that I am not sad
But I can't say that I'm happy
I can't even say what I am
I can't even say what I am not

I can't even say what is wrong with me because I do not know
All I know is that I'm not alright
And that I am worse than how I was feeling a few years ago
It's been so long since I felt anything - so long since I enjoyed anything
And I am ashamed of that

I am sorry if I am a bad friend, and I'm sorry if I am not a friend at all
But believe me when I say I am trying to change

I am fighting
But when you fight yourself, how can you expect to win

I am dodging my own punches, I am keeping out of my reach
I am pushing through it all
I am staying in my bed