Why do you seek comfort in your executioner?
Once claiming you were chained down as my prisoner
Your self-serving missions for peace
Just as selfish as your need for acquittal in my slow-burn heartbreak
Not that you would recognize how your actions reeked
Like the manipulation of the narrative you tweaked
That cost me control of my voice and my thoughts whenever we speak
I regress two years to when I was some insecure freak
An aimless and directionless heap
Of words I never said because of your will to listen so weak
Blaming me morally for what was wrong chemically
I know all of this is so foreign to you
But when you're not right for someone
The worst in you blinds you
Sure you can have it
I lost and you won
Are you happy now?
Do you finally have your coveted peace?
Now that the door is closed and you've completed your aimless endeavour
You must bad-mouth me with your new hippy friends or whomever
'Cause last time I checked
I'm no good
But you're no better
My one your five
You got off on my pain
Willing to look to God when there was something to gain
Fell victim to giving up my dignity
Just so you could bask in and boast of your high and mighty divinity
Do you enjoy me as your villain?
I'm sorry you'll never see how far I've come
Even against your indecision
I think we would have worked out
That was my intuition
But you never ran out of ammunition
All of the slips and trips of your emotionally clumsy expedition
You became quite the inventor
I am not sure why you clung so tightly to the stories you pinned me for
F*ck expressing MY thoughts
Like an eclipse that didn't ever exist
Then you dared to wrap your arms around my neck and kiss
My lips of which
You'll never find on another eight minus six
Thin-lipped ranch hand probably only packin' six
Loved you to the crux and out
And every freckle in between
But all I had to give was obscene
Apparently unseen
Pain and manipulation
Beats me kinda funny
Just thought
Aren't you the girl who STAYED in that situation?
Heart still beating strong
Kinda like the beating you claimed I gave you
As though you know anything of abuse
Oh shit slow down can't waterboard you with reminders of REAL scars
No use
Even if I've been in your words a "scorekeeper"
You've been no less a gamekeeper
In your convictions of growth and healing
Play peacekeeper
Booze fever
Have your pick of would-be leaders
Soaked in gin and at some point another man's bed
These are words I'll wish I never said
Forget a dead-set bed-wetter
All it took was one good f*ck to find the shredder
But as true as is finely forged leather
You fight this idea that I'm no good
But you're sure as shit no better