The Ones That Got Away
(Joy Ashworth)
The first sweetheart I ever had,
His age was only three,
I was only two but he
Was very keen on me;
But me mam soon put a stop to all
The games we used to play
So he became the first of all
The ones that got away.
In Mr. Wain's class at the school,
For boys I didn't care,
Mr. Wain he was so handsome,
With his dark and curly hair.
I carved a message on his desk:
I LOVE YOU, MISTER WAIN.
For defacing of school property,
He gave to me the cane.
Well, I grew up and I fell in love
And I thought he felt the same.
He took me to a club one night,
THE GAY GODS was the name.
Now him and me's the best of pals,
But there's no romance for sure,
For my darling's going steady with
The fella from next door.
In the back row at The Odeon,
There was my new date and me.
He got out a box of Dairy Milk,
''Here, have one, dear,'' says he.
Then he passed them on right down the row.
I says, ''Are they all with you?''
''It's just the wife and three of the kids,
They'll only have a few.''
Once I got a Valentine,
With passion all aflame,
It was from a secret lover,
For inside there was no name.
I scrutinised the envelope,
The writing for to see,
It was addressed to Number Four,
I live at Number Three.
Well, at last I met the very one
And I became a wife,
And I tell you, girls, this man of mine,
He plagues me of my life!
For he keeps me busy half the night
As well as all the day,
'Til I sometimes wish he'd go and join
The ones that got away.