I wonder can I be forgiven
If I can't forgive myself
Can you tell that I've been crying
Trying to pry my way from hell
Can you tell if there's a glimmer
Of hope left in this shell
I've been anticipating winter
Pray it matches how I've felt
Cold to the touch
I'm bundled up
Never enough
I miss your love
Sick without you here
Baby I need you
Feeling nauseous
Stick my head in the freezer
I have been wretched
I ain't been honest
I pray and beg God to forgive
I haven't been half what I should have
Hurting my lover again and again
Empty myself out
Sifting the wreckage
I haven't been okay since a little kid
I am a sinner
I deserve suffering
Keep hurting myself again and again
I'm not that perfect image
The man from the books I never was
I'm not some flawed temptation
I'm not the vamp who f*cks you rough
I'm not a superhero
I'm not the man I wish was
I wish that things were different
I'm giving my soul, tears, and blood
My heart longs for you
And my head just causes pain
I think of all the things I'd do
Just to hear you say my name
These constant thoughts of you
I pray they never go away
I said I'd give my life to you
That shits never gonna change