Tom Beales - Oh Well Lyrics

I approached a lady of the night
I asked her for a light
She told me that she did not smoke so I
Asked her for her life story
She said don't patronise me
So I gave her some money and we f*cked
When drunk I tend not to stand up
But rather to fall down
Tripping over words and falling face first
I met god, he's a cool guy
Does cocaine, such a cool guy
Remembers your name after just one time
He's smooth like James Bond or something
Oh well, oh well
I approached another set of lights
And pulled up to my right
Was a hot bikini babe in a Lamborghini
I asked her for a drag race she complied
She beat me so hard 'cause I crashed and died
Oh well, oh well
I own a small one bedroom flat
I live there with my cat
Who I named after Lorraine Kelly
It's unfair to put so much pressure on a kitty
Naming her after someone so legendary
I emailed the RSPCA
They came along and took me away
I don't think about it too much
Because it hurts when I do
And I'm not in to being in pain
I don't think about it too much
Because it hurts when I do
And I'm not in to being in pain, in pain, in pain
Oh well