[ Featuring Frederick-the-Great ]
Ladies And Gentlemen Gather 'Round! I Have Some News For You!
OH!THE MEDICINE MAN IS THE MIRACLE MIXER,
WITH BOTTLES OF MAGICAL FIXER!
CURES FOR ILLS SLIGHT AND CRONIC,
HE'S JUST THE RIGHT TONIC, THE MEDICINE MAN'S BEST EXLIXOR
Beer Bellies, Love Handles, Lumps Here And There,
Bald Places, Wrinkles And Underarm Hair,
Baggie Eyes, Smelly Feet, Bowlegs And Sags,
Gray Hair And Flat Feet, And Hip Saddle Bags.
Why, Just Think Of It?
OH! THE MEDICINE MAN IS A MIRACLE MIXER,
WITH BOTTLES OF MAGICAL FIXER!
CURES FOR ILLS SLIGHT AND CHRONIC.
HE'S JUST THE RIGHT TONIC, THE MEDICINE'S BEST ELIXOR!
Gather 'Round One And All, You're Not Going To Believe This!
BAD BREATH AND BODY SMELLS, CAN'T USE THE JOHN,
CROSSED EYES AND FRECKLES AND GAS WILL BE GONE,
BUSTLINE REDUCTIONS AND EACH LIVER SPOT,
WARTS, MOLES AND BUNIONS, WHATEVER YOU'VE GOT!
What Do You Mean Have I Tried This Stuff Myself? This Stuff Is Great! Will I?
Of Course I Will! Just Hand Me That Bottle There! Oh! Let's See, Whew!Smells Kind
Of Interesting! HO!!!
OH! THE MEDICINE MAN IS THE MIRACLE MIXER,
WITH BOTTLES OF MAGICAL FIXER!
CURES FOR ILLS SLIGHT AND CHRONIC,
HE'S JUST THE RIGHT TONIC, THE MEDICINE MAN'S BEST ELIXOR! WHOOPS!
Everyone's Something That They'd Like To Change,
Larger Or Smaller Or Just Rearrange,
Each One Is Looking For Something They've Not,
Oh So Unhappy With What They Have Got!
Aha! Step Right Up Folks, Put Lumps In Your Underarm Hair, Sags In Your
Bags And Legs In Your Saddle. You Can Change Something That's Not,
Into Nothing You've Got! Eh! Step Right Up, Er, Up, Er, Step Right, I Think!
Wait! I've Got It! Beer Bellies, Love Handles, Bald Places, Wrinkles And Baggy Eyes,
Smelly Feet, Gray Hair and Flat Feet And Bad Breath and Body Smells, Cross Eyes And
Freckles And Bust Line Reductions And Warts, Moles, Bunions And I Didn't Even..I Think
I'm Loosing It! And I Feel Wonderful! Aha! FOLKS RIGHT UP STEP-ASIDE, OH! THE MEDICINE
MEDIZON MIXXICAL MIRROR WITH BOTTLES OF MIJICAL MAXER, FOR SLUMS THAT ARE SLIGHTIC
HE'S TUMS THAT'S JUST RIGHTIC, THE MADISON MEN'S LIXIVISTER! THE MIXICAL MED MAAN'S
ABISTER! THE DOCTOR HAS OVERMEDICATED HIMSELF THIS TIME!
