Gather up the pills
And joints
And toss them
Down the toilet
I don't need
Any of this shit
I never even
Enjoyed it
Burn the numbers
Of all the men
Who have fallen
On your bed
Forget their faces
And their dicks
Forget the lips that
Gave good head
How could I ever have
Been so shallow?
Well, now I have a
New road to follow
How could you ever have
Been so shallow?
Well, now you have
A new road to follow
Get a job
Become a man
And if you get horny
Just use your hand
Trash the pornos
Shred the cigarettes
Don't drink coffee
Have herbal tea instead
No more ripped jeans
No more swearing
No more doing
Anything daring
No more masturbation
Just to get to sleep
No more following cute guys
Who are walking down the street
They're just walking down the street
No more television
No more processed foods
Work out at least five times a week
But don't go in the sauna room
No more fantasizing
About what could be
Always keep your feet
Planted in reality
Be completely faithful
To your higher self
Don't even let a stray thought
Cross your mind
If you see yourself
Falling back to old ways
Stick a ball point pen
Into your eyes
So you'll go blind