I see you all
Beyond this pain
But I remain trapped
With the monsters in my brain
Please someone breakthrough this silent restraint
Wish I could write from the heart
And tell you what's wrong
And put this gnawing into words
But the path is blocked
By a wall of glass
I scream: and it just bounces back
I waste away
As I wait and wait
Just to smile again.
So desperate for help
That nothing helps
I fail when I try to be my old self
How do I fix it?
How do I get better?
Does anybody have an answer?
I'm sick of feeling like a burden
I'm sick of having no control
I'm sick of always needing help
I'm sick of being afraid of myself
They say, they say
You will smile again
But it's not in the same way
Not with the same joyful abandon
There will be a barrier between your lips and your eyes
And you'll wonder if they notice, the light that's fading over time.
You will smile again
As you try to convince yourself it's real
You will keep forcing it
Until forcing it is all you remember how to feel
You will smile again
For the sake of them
It's just selflessness and depression
Going hand in hand again.