Death With Dignity
Spirit of my silence, I can hear you
But I'm afraid to be near you
And I don't know where to begin
And I don't know where to begin
Somewhere in the desert, there's a forest
And an acre before us
But I don't know where to begin
But I don't know where to begin
Again, I lost my strength completely
Oh, be near me, tired old mare
With the wind in your hair
Amethyst and flowers on the table
Is it real or a fable?
Well, I suppose, a friend is a friend
And we all know how this will end
Chimney swift that finds me, be my keeper
Silhouette of the cedar
What is that song you sing for the dead?
What is that song you sing for the dead?
I see the signal searchlight strike me
In the window of my room
Well, I got nothing to prove
Well, I got nothing to prove
I forgive you mother, I can hear you
And I long to be near you
But every road leads to an end
Yes, every road leads to an end
Your apparition passes through me
In the willows, and five red hens
You'll never see us again
You'll never see us again
Should Have Known Better
I should have known better
To see what I could see
My black shroud
Holding down my feelings
A pillar for my enemies
I should have wrote a letter
And grieve what I happen to grieve
My black shroud
I never trust my feelings
I waited for the remedy
When I was three, three maybe four
She left us at that video store
Oh, be my rest, be my fantasy
Oh, be my rest, be my fantasy
I'm light as a feather
I'm bright as the Oregon breeze
My black shroud
Frightened by my feelings
I only wanna be a relief
No, I'm not a go-getter
The demon had a spell on me
My black shroud
Captain of my feelings
The only thing I wanna believe
When I was three, and free to explore
I saw her face on the back of the door
Oh, be my rest, be my fantasy
Oh, be my rest, be my fantasy
I should have known better
Nothing can be changed
The past is still the past
The bridge to nowhere
I should have wrote a letter
Explaining what I feel, that empty feeling
Don't back down, concentrate on seeing
The breakers in the bar, the neighbor's greeting
My brother had a daughter
The beauty that she brings, illumination
Don't back down, there is nothing left
The breakers in the bar, no reason to live
I'm a fool in the fetter
Rose of Aaron's beard, where you can reach me
Don't back down, nothing can be changed
Cantilever bridge, the drunken sailor
My brother had a daughter
The beauty that she brings, illumination
Illumination
All Of Me Wants All Of You
Shall we beat this or celebrate it?
You're not the one to talk things through
You checked your texts while I masturbated
Manelich, I feel so used
Found myself on spencer's butte
Traced your shadow with my shoe
Empty outline changed my view
Now all of me thinks less of you
On the sheet I see your horizon
All of me pressed onto you
But in this light you look like poseidon
I'm just a ghost you walk right through
Saw myself on spencer's butte (all of me wants all of you)
The landscape changed my point of view (all of me wants all of you)
Revelation may come true (all of me wants all of you)
Now all of me thinks less of you (all of me wants all of you)
(All of me wants all of you)
(All of me wants all of you)
(All of me wants all of you)
(All of me wants all of you)
Drawn To The Blood
I'm drawn to the blood
The flight of a one-winged dove
How? How did this happen?
How? How did this happen?
The strength of his arm
My lover caught me off guard
How? Head of a rabbit
How? Head of a rabbit
For my prayer has always been love
What did I do to deserve this?
With blood on my sleeve
Delilah, avenge my grief
How? God of Elijah
How? God of Elijah
As fire to the sun
Tell me what I have done
How? Heart of a dragon
How? Heart of a dragon
For my prayer has always been love
What did I do to deserve this now?
How did this happen?
Eugene
Light struck from the lemon tree
What if I'd never seen hysterical light from Eugene?
Lemon yogurt, remember I pulled at your shirt
I dropped the ashtray on the floor
I just wanted to be near you
Emerald Park, wonders never cease
The man who taught me to swim, he couldn't quite say my first name
Like a Father he led community water on my head
And he called me "Subaru"
And now I want to be near you
Since I was old enough to speak I've said it with alarm
Some part of me was lost in your sleeve
Where you hid your cigarettes
No I'll never forget
I just want to be near you
Still I pray to what I cannot see
In the sprinkler I mark the evidence known from the start
From the bed near your death, and all the machines that made a mess
Far away the falcon flew
Now I want to be near you
What's left is only bittersweet
For the rest of my life, admitting the best is behind me
Now I'm drunk and afraid, wishing the world would go away
What's the point of singing songs
If they'll never even hear you?
Fourth Of July
The evil it spread like a fever ahead
It was night when you died, my firefly
What could I have said to raise you from the dead?
Oh could I be the sky on the Fourth of July?
Well you do enough talk
My little hawk, why do you cry?
Tell me what did you learn from the Tillamook burn?
Or the Fourth of July?
We're all gonna die
Sitting at the bed with the halo at your head
Was it all a disguise, like Junior High
Where everything was fiction, future, and prediction
Now, where am I?
My fading supply
Did you get enough love, my little dove
Why do you cry?
And I'm sorry I left, but it was for the best
Though it never felt right
My little Versailles
The hospital asked should the body be cast
Before I say goodbye, my star in the sky
Such a funny thought to wrap you up in cloth
Do you find it all right, my dragonfly?
Shall we look at the moon, my little loon
Why do you cry?
Make the most of your life, while it is rife
While it is light
Well you do enough talk
My little hawk, why do you cry?
Tell me what did you learn from the Tillamook burn?
Or the Fourth of July?
We're all gonna die
We're all gonna die
We're all gonna die
We're all gonna die
We're all gonna die
We're all gonna die
We're all gonna die
We're all gonna die
The Only Thing
The only thing that keeps me from driving this car
Half-light, jack knife into the canyon at night
Signs and wonders: Perseus aligned with the skull
Slain Medusa, Pegasus alight from us all
Do I care if I survive this? Bury the dead where they're found
In a veil of great surprises; I wonder did you love me at all?
The only thing that keeps me from cutting my arm
Cross hatch, warm bath, Holiday Inn after dark
Signs and wonders: water stain writing the wall
Daniel's message; blood of the moon on us all
Do I care if I despise this? Nothing else matters, I know
In a veil of great disguises; how do I live with your ghost?
Should I tear my eyes out now?
Everything I see returns to you somehow
Should I tear my heart out now?
Everything I feel returns to you somehow
I want to save you from your sorrow
The only reason why I continue at all
Faith in reason, I wasted my life playing dumb
Signs and wonders: sea lion caves in the dark
Blind faith, God's grace, nothing else left to impart
Do I care if I survive this, bury the dead where they're found
In a veil of great surprises; hold to my head till I drown
Should I tear my eyes out now, before I see too much?
Should I tear my arms out now, I wanna feel your touch
Should I tear my eyes out now?
Everything I see returns to you somehow
Should I tear my heart out now?
Everything I feel returns to you somehow
Carrie and Lowell
Carrie and Lowell
Such a long time ago
Like a dead horse
Meadowlark drive your arrow
Season of hope (after the flood)
Valentine, spurn my sorrow
Head on the floorboards (covered in blood)
Drunk as a horsefly
Climb on the mattress pad
Twist my arm
Under the pear tree
Shadows and light conspiring
Covered bridge, I scream
Cottage Grove shade invite me
I will bow down (Dido's lament)
Lord of the ancient waters
From the backyard (as far as she went)
Carrie surprised me
Erebus on my back
My lucky charm
Carried by stones
Fairyland all around us
Like a dead horse
Sign of your children's fever
Carrie, come home
(Thorazine's friend)
Holding your hands with Opai
Like a dead horse
(Shall we ascend)
Flight of the mayfly
Ephemera on my back
She breaks my arm
John My Beloved
Are we to speak, first day of the week
Stumbling words at the bar
Beauty blue eyes, my order of fries
Long island kindness and wine
Beloved of John, I get it all wrong
I read you for some kind of poem
Covered in lines, the fossils I find
Have they no life of their own?
So can we pretend sweetly
Before the mystery ends?
I am a man with a heart that offends
With its lonely and greedy demands
There's only a shadow of me; in a manner of speaking I'm dead
Such a waste, your beautiful face
Stumbling carpet arise
Go follow your gem, your white feathered friend
Icarus, point to the sun
If history speaks of two baby teeth
I'm painting the hills blue and red
They said beware, Lord hear my prayer
I've wasted my throes on your head
So can we be friends, sweetly
Before the mystery ends?
I love you more than the world can contain
In its lonely and ramshackle head
There's only a shadow of me; in a manner of speaking I'm dead
I'm holding my breath
My tongue on your chest
What can be said of my heart?
If history speaks, the kiss on my cheek
Where there remains but a mark
Beloved my John, so I'll carry on
Counting my cards down to one
And when I am dead, come visit my bed
My fossil is bright in the sun
So can we contend, peacefully
Before my history ends?
Jesus I need you, be near, come shield me
From fossils that fall on my head
There's only a shadow of me; in a manner of speaking I'm dead
No Shade In The Shadow Of The Cross
Now that I fell into your arms
My only lover, give out to give in
I search for the capsule I lost
Drag me to hell in the valley of the Dalles
Like my mother, give wings to a stone
It's only the shadow of a cross
I slept on my back in the shade of the meadowlark
Like a champion, get drunk to get laid
I take one more hit when you depart
I'll drive that stake through the center of my heart
Lonely vampire inhaling its fire
I'm chasing the dragon too far
There's blood on that blade, f*ck me, I'm falling apart
My assassin like Casper the ghost
There's no shade in the shadow of the cross
Blue Bucket Of Gold
One, two, three
My blue bucket of gold
Friend, why don't you love me?
Once the myth has been told
The lens deforms it as lightning
Raise your right hand
Tell me you want me in your life
Or raise your red flag
Just when I want you in my life
Search for things to extol
Friend, the fables delight me
My blue bucket of gold
Lord, touch me with lightning
Raise your right hand
Tell me you want me in your life
Or raise your red flag
Just when I want you in my life