[ Featuring Shaggy ]
All rise for the Honorable Judge Burrell
This court is called to order
These charges are serious
Stand up and face the bench
What do you plead, Sir? What do you plead?
"Guilty as charged," the Judge decreed, "stand up and face the bench
I have some words to say to you before we recommence
A list of crimes this serious, I swear I have not seen
In all the years that I have served Her Majesty the Queen
Arson, murder, blackmail, grand larceny and theft
Drug dealing, human trafficking, I ask the court, what's left?
Are there words of mitigation, before I pass the sentence?
Anything that you can tell the court to add to your defense?"
I faced the court, thought long and hard before I gave reply
"There's something that you need to hear, from me before I die
The circumstances of my birth were something short of bliss
I have this from my mother, it was told to me like this
The day that I was born, she said, The Good Lord woke from slumber
Looking 'round his timber yard, He found He had no lumber
Apart from some old twisted branch, in shadows left to lurk
He pulled it out into the light and set about his work.
She told me that the world should not expect too much of me
When the Good Lord carved my crooked soul, out of a crooked tree
When the Good Lord carved my crooked soul, out of a crooked tree."
"Stand up and face the bench
I've heard all you've got to say
That there look on your face says you're guilty
And now it's your judgment day."
"I'm not asking for forgiveness
I'm not proud of what I've done
I did the things I had to do, like any other mother's son
None of us are perfect, so remember what you see
When the Good Lord carved this crooked soul, out of a crooked tree
I don't wan hear no more
That's enough, take the defendant out
Order in the court! Order in the court!
I said order in the court!
