STIIRAM - Despair Lyrics

I stayed
Disconnected
In despair
Tried to find myself
But I failed
Like I fail
To keep them in place

What did they want me to be?
I'm not someone they think
I'm not
I don't know who to be
I've started drinking with me
And picked up smoking
To help me be
To hell with me

I hoped
One day I'll see you
Turns out you're dead
But not dead
In my head

So here I raise a glass for you
I pick a smoke
To bring some times back
And now I punch the walls with my despair
But none can see my pain when I scream

To hell with me
Tell the devil that I don't care
Tell him everything I'm not afraid
I'm not scared
No
To hell with me
With the devil oh I don't care
Tell him everything I'm not afraid
I'm not scared