Steph - Venting I Guess Lyrics

I learned a lot of lessons in my adolescence
Closer to the limit, am I out of lessons
Second guessing every second causes many questions
And I'm hoping for an answer in a message that's a blessing
And they say time will tell
So what may I ask
Stuck behind a mask, with a flask in my hand
Understand I don't drink, but it burns me like hell
And I feel like I never prosper
Like when Leo didn't win an Oscar
Like a nerd trapped inside a locker
Like a kid who never made the roster
I'm feeling like a monster, I'm feeling like a villain
I'm feeling like, everything I do is unfulfilling
And it's killing me slowly, I was never willing
To release every song, I was never driven
Always had a vision, but my bars felt like a prison
I would listen to them spit it, spilling everything they've written
Wish I could do the same, but I'm too much a chicken
And everything I had to get was earned and never given
Listen to the children, they don't see an evil
Only see the innocence and freedom like a Eagle
Friendly with the people, but the legal isn't equal
Wishing it was peaceful, but it pierces like a needle
I'm wishing you would see it all fall like the leaves
Relationships stall, and fall, and she leaves
Like everything I do is for you and not for me
I'm just wishing you would see me...
And lately I been slacking
Feeling like I'm losing all my passion
What happened to my passion
What happened to me rapping
What happened to the life that i envisioned and I'm wishing that I'll get it before my light begins to blacken
Now why I gotta be like that
I used to be an optimist
I used to preach that confidence
And now I feel like stopping this
I know what the problem is, I'm tryna get some help
Cause running from your problems, doesn't seem to help
And running doesn't work when the problem is yourself...
I'm wishing you would see it all fall like the leaves
Relationships stall, and fall, and she leaves
Like everything I do is for you and not for me
I'm just wishing you would see me...
I wonder what it's like to fall in love again
F*ck it, I don't wanna fall it love again
Found peace within the silence, found chaos in its core
When did love go from a feeling to a chore
Living in a house of glass, wishing that I'd call it home
Told you that I'd be right back, came back to your heart of stone
Now we're throwing sticks and stones, shattered glass and broken bones
My family said this isn't love, but toxic love is all I know...
And one day I'll be everything you wanted
Remember how we started, can't remember how we parted
Getting better with my silence, peaceful in responses
Unconditional, I said I'd love regardless
In a constant state of growth, you know I do the most
Took the E out of emotion and been steady on the go
Holding onto nothing, but afraid of letting go
Finding comfort in my notes with the words you'll never know
Maybe in a different place
Possibly have grown apart
Wonder if there's remedies for loneliness or broken hearts
All I hear is echoes of your laughter in my smoke alarms
Maybe I will meet you at the bottom of this bottle with some open arms
Maybe it's a hopeless start
Maybe it's a hopeful start
Maybe I'm just crazy
Maybe I just broke apart
Maybe I'm just tired
I hope that I'm just tired
Lately I been so exhausted...
Like, lately I been feeling like I lost it
How am I supposed to be the strongest when I feel like Imma vomit
Lately how I'm living, if I want it, Imma cop it
Then I cop it, now I'm hiding my emotions in my pockets
Something must've changed me
Strangely, I'm not longer sad, mad, or angry
I'm sick of everybody tryna praise me, "I can't believe you did that it's amazing"
Its crazy, you could do it too, but you're lazy
Friends turn to enemies
Words say "I love you," but actions say they envy me
The cost of being MVP
If I cut them loose, it'll set me free
Cooking in the kitchen with no recipes
I just say what I feel, and I mix it with an MP3
I hate it when they question me
Live and let live, this is why y'all are dead to me
They looking at me like the golden child, yeah, I know that's wild
Being 25 and expected to turn the world around
The pressure of my shoulders is the gravity that holds me down
Ain't nobody better, if there is, then homie show me now
I can't commit to shit she'll just slow me down
People from my hometown tryna hold me down
We was homies back then, we ain't homies now
Stop saying that you know me, you don't know me now
I'm wishing you would see it all fall like the leaves
Relationships stall, and fall, and she leaves
Like everything I do is for you and not for me
I'm just wishing you would see me
Grow
...
...
Hey its Steph
Sorry I'm unavailable right now
Go ahead and leave a message after the tone
Hey
I miss you
I know you've been busy on the road and stuff
I just really miss you
Call me back when you get a chance
Oh, and Steph
You made it