I'M NOT A WELL MAN Lyrics

He's not a well man
And he's getting worse
If he had any sense
He'd be in bed with a graduate nurse
A couple of specialists
High priced consultation
And outside waiting in the hall
Assorted large and small poor relations
His aches have got aches
His pains are in pain
And what sizzles and frizzles
Inside there all the smartest professors could not explain
-They wouldn't know what?
Be quick as you can
Time I haven't got
You're dealing with not (cough!)
With not a well man
I'm not a well man
Get worse every year
All the medical doctors
Give one look
They're amazed I'm still here
I should own a pharmacy
For just my prescriptions
My bills for only pills alone
Would chill you to the bone
With conniptions
What I have been through
No man could recite
It would make your heart break
A play or story that only
Turgenev maybe could write
A tragical plot
How can I plan?
Time I haven't got
You're dealing with not (cough!)
With not a well man
I'm not a well man

[Thanks to pwinsf for correcting these lyrics]