Hell Is Forever
(Andrew Underberg, Sam Haft, Alex Brightman & rika Henningsen)
Okay, I've got a lot to get through and not a lot of time
And I feel like you weren't hearing me before
So here it goes
I know Hell's population is out of control
It's a bad situation
It's taking a toll
If we rehab these Sinners
And cleanse all their souls
At my Hazbin Hotel
Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself!
Right! Extermination!
I know you guys fly down
Just to kill once a year
And it must be annoying
To schlep all the way here
If they join you in Heaven
That trip disappears!
You can wave that chore farewell
It'll be a happy day in he-
Let me stop you right there
Oh
Save us all precious time
Okay
If what you're suggesting
Is letting them climb
Up the ladder
Oh, they'd rather cross the Pearly Gates?
Well, uh
Sorry, sweetie
But there's no defyin' their fates!
'Cause Hell is forever
Whether you like it or not
Had their chance to behave better
Now they boil in the pot
'Cause the rules are black and white
There's no use in tryin' to fight it
They're burnin' for their lives
Until we kill 'em again!
Okay, but
Just try to chillax, babe
You're wasting your breath
Did I hear you imply
That they don't deserve death?
Are they Winners?
Are they Sinners?
'Cause it's cut and dry
Well, actually, if you take a look
Fair is fair, an eye for an eye!
And when all's said and done (said and done)
There's the question of fun (fun)
And for those of us with Divine Ordainment
Extermination is entertainment!
Bow-now-now-nownow
Guitar solo, f*ck yeah!
Oh, da-ah-ah now-now-n-now-n-now-n-now-n-nownownow
Ugh
Hell is forever
Whether you like it or not
Had their chance to behave better (where the Hell did you people come from?)
Now they boil in the pot
'Cause the rules are black and white
There's no use in tryin' to fight it
They're burnin' for their lives
Until we kill 'em again!
F*ckin' Hell's forever
And it's meant to suck a lot
So give up your dumb endeavor
'Cause you don't have a shot!
Long as I've got your attention
I guess I should probably mention
That we made the determination
To move up the next Extermination!
What?
Can't wait a whole year
To slaughter those little cunts
I know it's just been a week
But we'll be back in six months!
Um, wait, didn't you
Ugh, shit!
Stayed Gone
(Andrew Underberg, Sam Haft, Christian Borle, Amir Talai & Joel Perez)
That f*cker is back!
Yeah, I thought he was gone for good too
It's been seven years!
You still pissed he almost beat you that time?
Uh, f*ck you
Just saying
Things have changed a lot since he left town
That's for sure
I gotta send a message of who's really in charge of things now
Welcome home
I'm gonna make you wish that you'd stayed gone
Say hello to a new status quo
Everyone knows that there's a brand new dawn
Turn the TV on!
Camera speeds
Rolling in three, two
(Welcome to the show)
Top of the hour, and we're discussing a certain has-been
Who has been spotted cavorting around town
After a seven-year absence (welcome to the show)
Did anybody miss him?
Did anybody notice? (Welcome to the show)
More on tonight's program
So, the Radio Demon is back in town
Why is he hanging around?
What does that mean for your family?
Well handily, I've got good news
He's a loser, a fossil
And I don't mean to sound hostile, but the demon is a coward!
You can take that as gospel
Pulling my viewers? Impossible
I'm visual, he's barely audible
Stop giving him the time of day, don't listen to a word he'd say
I hope he had a nice vacay, but he should've stayed away
While he hid in radio, we've pivoted to video
Now his medium is getting bloody rare
Hell's been better since he split
Where's he been? Who gives a shit?!
Salutations!
Good to be back on the air
Yes, I know it's been a while
Since someone with style treated Hell to a broadcast
Sinners, rejoice!
What a dated voice!
Instead of a clout-chasing mediocre video podcast
Come on!
Is Vox insecure, pursuing allure?
Fitting between this fad and that, is nothing working?
Ignore his chirping!
Every day, he's got a new format!
You're looking at the future, he's the shit that comes before that!
Is Vox as strong as he purports?
Or is it based on his support?
He'd be powerless without the other Vees
Oh, please!
And here's the sugar on the cream
He asked me to join his team!
H-hold on!
I said no, and now he's pissy
That's the tea!
You old-timey prick, I'll show you suffering
Uh-oh, the TV is buffering!
I'll destroy you, yoou little
I'm afraid you've lost your signal
Let's begin
I'm gonna make you wish that I'd stayed gone, tune on in
When I'm done, your status quo will know its race is run
Oh, this will be fun
F*ck!
It Starts With Sorry
(Andrew Underberg, Sam Haft, Alex Brightman, rika Henningsen, Stephanie Beatriz & Blake Roman)
It starts with "sorry"
That's your foot in the door, one simple "sorry"
Spoken straight from your core
The path to forgiveness is a twisting trail of hearts
But "sorry" is where it starts
Who could forgive a dirtbag like me?
I don't deserve your amnesty
Can't we just kill him?
Shoot him and spill his blood?
That's an option you could choose
Works for us
But who hasn't been in his shoes?
It starts with "sorry"
Sorry
Dig down deeper and say one sincere "sorry"
I'm so sorry
And your journey's underway
It'll take time to cover (my) your vast multitude of sins
But "sorry" is where it begins
It starts with "sorry"
Whatever It Takes
(Andrew Underberg, Sam Haft, Daphne Rubin-Vega, Stephanie Beatriz & James Monroe Iglehart)
What weighs on your soul, old friend?
I implore you to share the load
If it was thou who slew the angel
Why not let your strength be known?
I always thought that I would keep blood off my face
But when that thing attacked, I had to act
To cross that line and keep them safe
But if anyone knew, then all of Hell would rise to war
And who's to say who'd survive the fray?
I might lose the ones that I was killing for
So I, I'll be your keeper
Do whatever it takes, I'll make the mistakes
I'll keep you safe and keep this secret
When I saw your face
You made me feel like a stranger in a brand new place
And it felt so good to be understood
But there's so much I wished that I could say
So I, I'll be your armor
Do whatever it takes, I'll make the mistakes
I'll spend my life being your partner
And I don't know what we might face
But I know I can't replace you
So I'll do anything to save you
And I will try to make your dreams come true
Whatever we go through
I know I, I'll be your keeper
I'll be your armor
Whatever it takes, I'll make the mistakes
I'll make the mistakes
Whatever it takes
Respectless
(Andrew Underberg, Sam Haft, Daphne Rubin-Vega, Lilli Cooper & James Monroe Iglehart)
You better show some respect!
Check your behavior, no one speaks to Zestial that way!
Did you expect us to sit back
And take your insolent, brazen display?
You've got it twisted
I'm not the one who needs a new attitude
Maybe you missed it, but I'm that #Bitch
And I will do nothing less than what I please (woo!)
I'm the backbone of the Vees
Mad that I acted respectless?
Well, it's 'cause no one could respect this
Sorry group attendin'
Since when are overlords too scared to fight?
You're long past trendin'
Sorry, bae, but I ain't swipin' right
You lost your relevance
We can't act without more intelligence
Ugh, no wonder I'm so respectless
I could eat you lot for breakfast
You and the Vees are inane and uninformed
Smug wannabes, who don't heed when you've been warned
Oops! Did I strike a nerve?
'Cause when I brought out the angel's head
Couldn't help but observe
That your wrinkled face was turning red
And why are you avoidin' war?
That's what the guns you sell are for
Thanks to my being respectless
One thing I'm starting to suspect is
You know why this angel's headless
Do you have a disclosure?
This meeting's over!
Loser, Baby
(Andrew Underberg, Sam Haft, Keith David & Blake Roman)
So things look bad, and your back's against the wall
Your whole existence seems f*ckin' hopeless
You're feelin' filthy as a dive bar bathroom stall
Can't face the world sober and dopeless
You've lost your way, you think your life is wrecked
Well, let me just say you're correct
Wait, what?
You're a loser, baby
A loser, goddamn baby
You're a f*cked up little whiny bitch
Hey!
You're a loser, just like me
Thanks, asshole
You're a screws-loose boozer
An only one-star reviews-er
You're a power bottom at rock bottom
But you got company
This supposed to make me feel better?
There was a time I thought that no one could relate
To the gruesome ways in which I'm damaged
But lettin' walls down, it can sometimes set you straight!
We're all livin' in the same shit sandwich
I sold my soul to a psychopathic freak
And you think that makes you unique?
Get outta here, man!
We're both losers, baby
We're losers, it's okay to be a
Coked-up, dick-suckin' ho?
Baby, that's fine by me
I'm a loser, honey
A schmoozer and a dummy
But at least I know I'm not alone
You're a loser
Just like me
I got an appetite for gamblin'
I got an appetite for samplin' every drug and sex toy I can find
Go ahead baby, sing that song, come on!
I got no holes left to deflower
I sold my soul to save my power
Now I'm on that demon's leash
I'm trapped and it gets worse with every hour
You're a loser, baby
A loser, but just maybe if we
Eat shit together, things will end up differently
It's time to lose your self-loathin'
Excuse yourself, let hope in, baby
Play your card, be who you are
A loser, just like me