Problems Video (MV)

These are my problems
Got so many problems
These are my problems
I don't know how to solve them

Dear depression, dear suicide, dear all the notes that I wrote to leave behind
Would anyone miss me if I died today
I've been holding so many thoughts so let me take a second to make a confession
Every day I wake up I think to myself
I gotta put a smile on my face
Telling everybody that I'm doing good when I'm not
They be askin' what I did today turn around and I say I didn't do a whole lot
And I say that I'm doing fine but in mind I've been contemplating a plan
What if I told the whole world about the struggles that I face
Would that make me less of a man?
Got all of these thoughts just scrambling my brain
Feeling so fake to myself I lie and I lie just to cover up my pain

Maybe one day I look around and people could understand me
Happy today but tomorrow a goner that's something I might be
Listening to Dear God like why am I still hurting today why am I created me this way
I still have some questions to ask you like why am I suffering in this place
I drown in my thoughts in these words in my head that stay on repeat
"You're not good enough" as it says to me as I try and fall asleep
I keep up with all these thoughts that keep messing with my head
Sometimes I think that it would be better if I was dead

These are my problems
Got so many problems
These are my problems
I don't know how to solve them

I've paid dollars to feed the mouths that lie
I keep going through these motions and I need to get them out don't think that I've tried
Now I know I can't ever rest cause life is just that big of a mess
Feeling so empty inside I need to find a way to patch up this hole in my chest
They always be telling me there's light at the end of the tunnel but I don't see it
Had thoughts of ending my life a month ago and I'm close to that
Maybe I should stop and take those words in my mind and send them back
Even when you feel like your life is in a stump
Remember that your story isn't done

This is for everyone that struggle and has gone through that
These are my problems and confidence is something I lack
If you're listening just know you've got a friend in me
I pray that one day you begin to see
You're worth more than you know stronger than you show so please don't let go

So many times I give advice but I could never listen to my own
I remember that day clearly
All those voices in my head talking to me taken over by all those demons
Looking down in my bed screaming
I was eighteen when I wanted to be dead
Got all of the things that I kept inside my head
I took a blade and put it to my wrist
Had it going vertical this is the one shot I could not miss
Here I am today telling you that I made it through
There's help out there if you need help
But at the end of the day it all starts with yourself

These are my problems
Got so many problems

I met this girl and I know that she been hurt
But I promised her that I would always put her first
I wanna take on our problems together
But maybe the problem was me and not her
Got me thinking that I should be feeling guilty
Never wanted to be an issue for you just believe me
When I say that you're everything to me just know that I mean it
I can't lose the only thing I got going right now
Will someone just talk to me and tell me how

Tell me how
I could ever be happy
Feeling like I can't be
Cause if it wasn't for me I wouldn't have these thoughts
Give her my love and my life that's all that I got
I don't like to smile in pictures anymore cause I see them in the media
I don't wanna be social no more cause the more you trust they could be leaving ya