Yea
In the past year I've had a lot of ups and downs
Dropped a couple songs looking back Like I don't like the sound
Maybe it was just the tone
Maybe it was just the lyrics
Maybe it was just the fact that it wasn't perfect
Had me question if this music was even worth it
Whatever it was man it pushed me to stay working
Learned some new things
Handled my mood swings
That one smile one time wasn't pretend
Lost some people made some new friends
Find myself pushing everyone I have to the side no offence
Counting on me but I might cut ties with him like a spilt end
I don't mean to go right now but I have to
Talking to the man in the mirror I don't like you
In the past year I've released some songs
In the past year I shot a music vid
Wrote a country song what a mistake
In the past year I put out an ep
A couple months ago I did an interview
Wonder how I even made it through
My mind was pacing man it's racing
Hands were shaking pressures rising
Looking back there were some things I could've said
Maybe should've said
But I didn't say, even if I said
That it's okay, to be scared, to talk about em
I'm so ashamed, I'm to blame, but I'm so afraid
What people might think of me, "what do you mean"
Thought you were clean
What do you mean
Just wait and see
What do you mean
Lemme paint the scene
Yea
Take you back, June 17
The weeks after that were hell for me
I was scared to show my face around the town
Dressed all black with my Hoodie up my guard wasn't going down
There was a lot I didn't want people to see
I was thinking what people might think of me
Am I weak, am I weird, am I broke, am I lost
Even when they ask about my arm I say that it's a burn
But if you know me well, you know that it's not
Failure has always been something that drives me
Passionate about the words that I'm saying fired up on this beat
Growing up has changed the way I become a better me
If I'm living life wrong let me do it cause I ain't gonna cheat
Made it to here and asked my parents if they're proud of me
I put my heart and my life and my soul into everything that I got
Looking into this room hearing my words coming from the crowd
Writing these words with my feelings in all the notes that I jot
I know there are people out there who are praying to God
Some people ask him why he didnt answer their prayers
I am forever grateful for this life and everything that I got
Some people turn their backs on him saying he never cared
I got these thoughts that can't be explained in the pews
Some people will try their hardest to attack my heart
I wake up every morning knowing that I always got something to prove
Some people depend on others so I go and work on my art
The day I die is when music and I are apart woo
Son you should write some happy raps
All your songs man are so depressing
Take all of your music and put it in the trash
Every time you spit on the microphone man it's so whack
You should try to smile more
Cause I've been keeping score
But look in side my head I'll show you a war
Actually skip that lemme show you the door
Sometimes I feel like I constantly worry about the next part of my life when I don't even Take a second to realize that I'm right in the middle of what I once dreamed about
Don't need your clout, hearing your hate
And I laugh loud, for the ones in the back lemme shout
I know some of you don't like me cause all my songs I sit and I doubt and I pout
Right?
Yea
Write something new Son
Look at the damage you've done
You should put out some real raps
Nah man my story just begun
You don't see the people that put down the gun
I'm proud that my story took them out of their trap
But here I'll write you a real rap yea
Sex, money, drugs
Lemme hit up my plug
Cause I'm living like a thug
With a gold chain and a Gucci product
Got my girl with me man I got the hottest
You see the drip that's some Prada
When I hear your raps I'm hearing nada
No body cares that I went through some trauma
Calm down here's a drink with some vodka aye
That was weird...
But you wanted real raps so I gave you real raps
Imma make you mad go back to my roots so let's recap
I don't need no chit chat, about the smile I use to have
I'm only one person, human being just a man
Out here running the game doing the best I can
Spilling my heart on this page when I'm alone and I'm sad
I care about my mental health, what? you don't like that