Sould-Dier Video (MV)

I think a few people got me
Twisted and bent
Bout who slime is
And what i represent
Not gone sit here and act like
Im just heaven sent
So heres my story
The raw unedited

May 13 back in 97
Real nigga was born and blessed
By the reverend
Yeah i was born catholic
Not many people know
Father son holy spirit for ya info
Father was never around
Mane he in and out of jail
Abused my moms
Yeah he put her through hell
Moved in with grams
Round the corner from Wooddale
I could hear gunshots
When i went to check the mail
Private school from Pre-K
On up through the fourth
School in the hood
What the opposite of the Norf
Seen a lot of shit before
I had jumped off the porch
Moms is my OG
So she passed me the torch
I aint have my own room
Til about grade 5
Mama lost her job a while back
We barely survived
Sleeping two to a bed
We always well fed
Aint have much
Least we had somewhere
To lay our heads

I got bullied
Picked on teased and tormented
Not just kids at school
But my own damn sibling
I had 0 self esteem by the time i was 11
Used to write in my journal
God please send me to heaven
Didn't get easier
When i moved to the burbs
New kid on the block
Damn right i was nervous
Trynna get in where i fit in
Trynna find my purpose
Labeled ghetto by the rich kids
Had me hurting
Next comes high school
It didn't get no better
By then i wrote at least
A hundred suicide letters
I can make looking broken
Look so well put together
Put a mask on my face
And pretend its whatever
Nobody thinks a black kid
Can have depression
So they silence your cries
To put em into suppression
Like my childhood trauma
Didn't have no connection
People have it a lot worse
Didn't make me realize my blessings
Got my first real boyfriend
We on and off
Made it all the way to college
Then we soon fell off
He'd been unfaithful
After that i was completely unstable
Wishing his mistakes weren't true
And they're merely just fables

Then reality hits
Go through a whole bunch of shit
Even though back to the times
When i slit my wrist
Hand a handful of pills crying
This is it
All the pain i went through
Was no longer worth it
How could God love someone
Who is so imperfect
Lost my aunt and my grandma
Within a year
Just three months apart
I only shed one tear
Couldve been dead a long time ago
But nigga I'm here

I been through hell and back
So its nothing i fear
I had people turn they back on me
Did me so green
I dealt with niggas who only want
Whats in between
I got bitches who don't like me
That i aint never seen
I don't have the good life
Its not as good as it seems
Mane i smoke so much
Family think I'm a fiend
Yeah i smoke
I still get shit done
Know what i mean

Left out just a couple memories
Like i had to do
Some of my enemies
Update I'm getting better mentally
Focused on melodies
Building up my equities
Yeah my story's not finished
Yeah its only the beginning
Not gone let my rough start
Ruin my happy ending
You can still be blessed
If you out here sinning
At the end of every night
Just make sure you repenting
Im a soul-dier