Please hold and we'll be with you shortly
Please hold while we try to connect you
Our operators are busy - you're being held in a queue
Well... please ensure you've got your account number ready
And you'll need your password and your ID before you get through
Please hold while we try to connect you
Please follow the instructions that appear on your phone
We may record your call for training purposes
The office is now closed so leave your message at the tone
Please choose one of the following options
Press 1 if you're dreaming of the summer sun
Press 2 if you don't care if you never, never, never, never, never get through
Press 3 and you'll be cut off immediately (Yes you will)
And then press hash if you want to hear the options again
Please hold while we try to connect you
We are experiencing an unusually high volume of calls
The truth is with the wages we pay
Our call centre staff are not that willing to stay
Please hold while we try to ignore you
Do our messages bore you? I think they drive me insane
We are dedicated to providing the highest possible standards
Now get off the phone and don't call us again
Please choose one of the following options
Press 1 if you're dreaming of the summer sun
Press 2 if you don't care if you never, never, never, never, never get through
Press 3 and you'll be cut off immediately (Yes you will)
And then press hash if you want to hear the options again