See from the start I was ultra noided
Annoyed with the boys employed in my district
Voicing boisterous
Making dumbass choices, and no surprise I joined 'em
Little wide eyed boidem
Watched our hype tribes join in
This was back in grade six after I integrated
Anticipated my debut within the administration
So naive and innocent, that sense would be gone soon
Swept away in an emotional monsoon
And by that second week of senior November, we had lost all empathy
And for some virginity, discarding a skin a day
Each bar would incinerate as I carved up within the page
My Lord I have sinned today
Shit popped off like Kennedy
I screwed myself royally before even jotting these lyrics
What self-respecting kid complains about vodka and spirits?
Failed at every single attempt at snatching wampum
Whether I yelled Selah, Amen, or Allahu
Tryna drag myself in the shelter of a chapel
But only pakora saved me from E capsules
Not even divinity prevented me from being an asshole
All it did was limit me, no remedies were seen in that castle
Go ahead and babble, depaul you're way too noxious
Super toxic and quite caustic to you cocklicks
Your own malignant lances breaching your defenses
Shattering any pretending sentences you're sending
Hayatheus
Child rearing a mere requirement
Child hearing multiple opinions, feeling despondent
Outlook funny feeling couldn't be shook
They dunno shit
Option a from mama
B from papa
C from the teach me something
Couldn't be sure of nothing
No trust in authority
Author of my own story
Imagination
Imagine the hesitation
Looking in the mirror with holy books around me
Trepidation surrounds as I ask the question
Show me a sign, divine mind
I'm so confused but used to contradictions
Fake or nonfiction
Shit is not clicking
Aware of myself but not the mission
What is it that I'm supposed to do?
Could we restart the mission dude?
Recoil at the coil
Snake hissing like it's the one bitten, my doubt forsaken
What's the point of thinking if you've no interest in making
Opinion tinkering, lingering
Thoughts grow quiet
That's how and why it's better off inside the mind's eye
What others couldn't provide
Can't advance in the sludge of self-taught lies
Avoid delicious fudge of manmade cries of assurance
This is bullshit
Grateful of my mental instinct
My trusty trusting deterrence
My lust of must not be sure
My acknowledgement of "man I know that there must be more"
Yo, man I know there must be more