Sam Gendel - DAVE Lyrics

DAVE
The cameras are rolling:
The people want a little drama
They're rolling heads down the lanes at the bowl-o-rama the drones are raining hellfire on the dalai lama
As english majors have a fight about the oxford comma the desert caravans are jangling like pots and pans banging on their cans cause their running out of ativan the black plague is coming out of retirement
And armies of leprechauns are marching out of Ireland the last illuminati riding in their maseratis
Getting naughty with their favorite hotties riding shottybefore they upload their memories out of their bodies then hit the bar for some burgers and some hot toddies the aliens were gonna visit but they're gonna wait they're playing cards as we're barreling toward our fate up in their easy chairs laughing at our big affairs
Eating asian pears as we're overrun by grizzly bears
A man is sitting on a porch with a can of beer
Longing for a time when the skies were clear
Stroking his shotgun grateful that he's got one
Hoping that his chosen candidate will get a lot done he's rough around the edges but it doesn't really matter he has a way of cutting through the ordinary chatter and anyway we've got one foot in the grave
Waiting to be saved by a dude named DAVE.
Are these the last days?
Or just a new maze...
We'll run around awhile deep inside a thick haze
The politicians are on a mission
You never had a choice, but keep on wishing
The world is shaking, the news is breaking
An empty throne is there just for the taking
The lawyers sip wine, loading up mac nines
Happy as dwarves and elves inside a gold mine
A couple MP's running on empty
Inside a tank with ten WMDs
They get the order to shoot a mortar
Into an old apartment full of hoarders
It's on the front page, people are outraged
Cause they don't know the whole incident was staged and if you said so, they wouldn't let go
I try to brush it off, i can't forget though
All the while in my cave, i'm waiting on Dave...
A couple cats in a jeep wearing camo pants
Pedal to the metal like lance in the tour de france
Sharing a bottle of 20/20 opening the throttle
Pills on the dash in different colors like some good and plenty they ditch the bottle in a concrete river
It shatters with the sound of school kids lost in idle chatter
No matter, just another piece of trash
Just another bit of ash in the furnace full of burning cash
A single sunbeam shining out like a dream
Hits a shard of glass magnifying to a hot gleam
Heating up a weed until it smokes
Smoke becomes a fire spreading faster than a long cloak
Tearing through the alleys like a flood
Bearing down on spa patrons wearing mud
Hip matrons sipping coffee
Vegans chewing on expensive cud and sugar-free toffee
And the riots begin...
And peace and quiet is a luxury
As people start to wonder if it's fun to be a robber with a gun
Or a mob on the run clobbering a nun
Shopping for some vinyl now your ass is well done
Some were riding high but then they couldn't stick the dismount now they hit the store for a five-finger discount
The drones appear on the horizon
To restore order like we did to the bison
Laser-guided missiles with all of the bells and whistles
It's comedy, punchline is happiness and harmony
The ghost of andy griffith rolls through in a tank
Along with monica lewinsky and the chairman of the world bank making mince meat to the sound of gamelan
As steve inskeep reports live from new babylon
Asking the militia who's the leader of the new wave
They look him in the eyes and say DAVE!