[ Featuring Sadian ]
(SadBoiDilly)
So, I feel like I don't deserve this pain
I'm writing this sitting in the rain, yah
I've been so depressed I'm just so upset
Don't want to be here, I just want to rest
Just to stop breathing, to stop bleeding to stop feeling this way I swear to god I'll run AWAY!!
I look up at the stars wondering if anyone even cares, livin my life just doesn't even feel fair, I feel like I need to cut deep, feel like I just want to sleep, I don't know how I'm gonna survive I just want to be floating in the sky, doesn't matter dead or alive.
Yeah been getting bullied in school, everyone just don't think I'm cool I'm starting to think that I'm just a little ol fool
See when I'm happy I wish for moments to last forever but is seems like they never whatsoever
I've been doing some drugs to get away from the struggles, get away from the pain, but I think it's gonna be worse when they goin up in my veins
Yah it's ironic that a side affect of my pills is depression, see I got it cause I ain't restin, I'm always stressin, yeah these demons be possessin, call it obsession, nowadays I got so much aggression, yeah livin now isn't even a blessin
See, It scares me sometimes, all my emptiness I have up inside, it all just gives me thoughts of suicide, thoughts of not being alive, why should I even try if I can't even fly
Yeah I don't know how to talk to people so I wrote this song yeah I always feel like I'm in the wrong they won't even care when I'm gone
(Sad Boi Dilly) I've been telling myself I'm fine, (I'm fine) that It'll get better over time. I'll just live my life like the rest, I can just only hope for the best, gotta stay alive I can't take bet with my demons. Yeah I just always lie and tell everyone that I'm fine....
($ister$adian)
Driving in the rain
I can not complain
Do it everyday
Smoke away the pain
Trying every way
Should I even stay
Not about this way
Not about this life
Why I even try
I ain't tryna lie
Had to hide my knife
I wanna f*cking die
Slit my wrists and end tonight
But you care about my life
Do you care about yours
Baby, what you waiting for, no
"Do you love me?"
Yes of course
This shit's a f*cking chore
Mabye I do not adore this fight
Because the key outta this life
Isn't a key, it's a bullet
I'm thinking too much
I just need to cool it
Or maybe just write my will and take some pills
Like what's the big deal
I just really wanna feel
Murder in my eyes
I will not comply
To my demons lurking in my mind
I try to take my time
To write these lines
Not tryna make them rhyme
'Cuz that shit's a crime
A crime against myself
Forcing me to will this out
I'm not allowed to take a different route
I gotta keep slaving to these words
Not to get this clout
But to calm these demons
Man, they travel in herds
Corrupting my mind, steady scheming
You need to start leaving me alone
Passing through my head, by my lone
I've been coming to conclusions
Do I belong here, all these illusions
Keep on coming, never stop abusin
I feel like I'm on low battery
I can't wait to die, literally
Tell me why I can't stop crying
My eyes hurt too much from wiping
My tears away, should I even stay
Baby give me a reason
'Cuz I'm fading away...
(Sad Boi Dilly) I've been telling myself I'm fine, (I'm fine) that It'll get better over time. I'll just live my life like the rest, I can just only hope for the best, gotta stay alive I can't take bet with my demons. Yeah I just always lie and tell everyone that I'm fine...
