Stankas T Bone - Existential Blues Lyrics

EXISTENTIAL BLUES
by Tom "T-Bone" Stankus

(spoken) Hey, man, what are you really into? Huh?

The elusive butterfly has just tiptoed past my door
My bonny likes the Yankees, she says "hey t-bone what's the score?"
I say "well, Randie, ahh... 1 and 1 and 3 and 25 is 6 to 4"
Is the left wing really pinko? Colonel Sanders, what a bore.
You ask so many questions, what answers should I choose?
Is it schizoid paranoia or just existential blues?

The amenities of life have been chasing my soul
And my mind is transcendental, and I'm losing all control
And I'm sinking in the quagmire of illusions and Thoreau
I cry out "My name is T-Bone" as a hound dog digs a hole.
You ask so many questions, what answers should I choose?
Is this Plato's heebie-jeebies or just existential blues?

Sailing, sailing, what is illusion, what is truth?
Sailing, sailing, over the existential blues.
God bless America, and Old Glory too.
May she always wave o'er us with the red, white and existential
blues. Hey!

Bah-bidah-bah bidah-bidam-bom bida-bom-bida-bom dah-ang-i-dang-dang ding
The existential blues.
Hey you can do what you want but lay off my existential blues
My blue suede existential blues.

I was on a QUEST to dream the impossible dream
Walking down the road one day, doo-dah, doo-dah
I was walking down the road
I was looking for the truth of life
When I came across all these little people, little people
Little people all around me.

They looked up at me and said "Hey Mister, are you tall?"
And I said "Yes I'm tall, but who are you weird little wonders?"
And they looked up at me with their big bloodshot eyes and said
"We are the lollipop kids, the lollipop kids, the lollipop kids
We are the lollipop kids, we'd like to welcome you to munchkin land."

I said "Hey, hey, weird little wonders, I am on a quest to dream the impossible dream
Walking on the road one day, doo-dah, doo-dah"
I said "Hey kids I'm looking for the truth of life...
Where do I go? Who do I see?"

"Slow down mister. In order to find the truth of life, one must
see THE WIZARD!"
I said "The WIZARD????" Well where does this wizard oh wise one live?"
"You see the big green glow-in-the-dark house up on the hill?
I said "Yes, I see the big green glow-in-the-dark house up on the hill"
With the big dark forest between me and the big green glow-in-the-dark
house up on the hill. And a little old lady on a Hoover vacuum
cleaner going "I'll get you my little pretty, and your dog Toto too!"
I don't even HAVE a little dog Toto...

Such predicaments! I must forge ahead to dream the impossible dream
Walking down the road one day, doo-dah, doo-dah
I must find the truth of life
I said "but you know kids, I can handle the big green glow-in-the-
dark house up on the hill, I can handle the dark forest, I can
handle the little old lady and the very strange road they're
sending me down... I've seen yellow stripes in the middle of the
road, but kids, never quite that wide!"

Alright, tighten your shorts pilgrim, and sing like the Duke:
Follow the yellow brick road (come on!)
Follow the yellow brick road (everybody sing!)
Follow follow follow follow follow
Follow the yellow brick road
If ever a wonderful Wiz there was, the Wizard of Oz is
one because because because because because because
Because of the wonderful things he does.
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, ha-ha
We're off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz.

Well, I got a little bit tired of
Walking down the road one day, doooo-dahhhhh, dooooo-daaaaahhhhhh.
A little bit tired of walking down this old blinding yellow
brick road
So I pulled my little tired body off to a little rest area,
And lo and behold there's a little field of little red
flowers out there
[Sniff] Smells so good. Whoa! I was gettin' pretty tired.
Smells so good [sniff]
Well I'll just stretch out in this little field of...
poppies poppies poppies poppies poppies poppies ....
Hey, what a strange dream man, you know
The little red flowers just smell awfully good
And I was really tired and old wizard's just going to have to wait, man.
'Cause I'm just gonna stretch out again in this little field of ...
poppies poppies poppies poppies poppies poppies ....
OhgodohgodDorothyDorothypoppiesfieldpoppiesfield...

Along came this old man in a green El Dorado two
Screeched to a halt.
A little short man with a big red nose, toting a bottle of
Yukon Jack,
Strolled up to me and said "hey, son"
I said "Old man, don't bother me, poppies poppies poppies poppies"
He said "T-Bone"
I said "wait a minute, this man knows my name! He must be...
THE WIZARD!!!!"
You must be the Wizard, the Wizard of Oz, Why have you come to
haunt me, O Wizard of Oz?
I said "Oh Wizard O Wise one, I've been on a quest to dream the impossible dream
Walking down the road one day, doo-dah, doo-dah
We are the lollipop kids, the lollipop kids, the lollipop kids
Follow the yellow brick road follow the, follow the...
I got tired, poppies poppies poppies poppies ...
I said, "Oh man, I've been through hell!"

He said "hey, son, slow down and relax!"
I said "But Wizard, oh wise one, I've come so far to find the truth
of life"
He said "Hey, son, slow down and relax." he says, "Uh, to tell you the truth, son..."
I said "Wizard, that's what I've come to find is the truth"
He said "no, no, no, son, you've got me all wrong. To tell you the truth,
son, uh, how can I tell you this? Uh, I've been in this field
of poppies a long time, myself, and I've come to find, son,
that the only truth in life is right here in this bottle."
I said "WIZARD!!!?!??!?"
He said "No, truly, son, in fact, I'd rather have this bottle
in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy!"

How profound, Wizard!

Some girl with psychic powers, she said "T-bone, what's your
sign"
I blink and answer "Neon," I thought I'd blow her mind.
She's reading Moby Dick, by some fruitcake named Herman.
She's chomping on a knockwurst
Was the duchess really German?
You ask so many questions, what answers should I choose?
Is this really Butte, Montana or just existential blues?

Really Butte, Montana... is as Plato's heebie-jeebies..
Is this schizoid paranoia....

la-la-la-la-la-la-la

EXISTENTIAL BLUES

[Thanks to milledel, Zeppyfish for correcting these lyrics]