Runamok - Masquerade Lyrics

Feel so alone again
Even my reflection is too far away
Smoking at home again
Put a smile on my face
Just a masquerade
Keep faking the smile, you won't know what's what
Like where's that little boy everyone wants back?
You grew up from the trauma, not age or growing up
You a grown man now but nobody wants that
Nobody wants the culmination of their actions
The consequence, the conglomerate of tragic circumstances they placed me in
I'm the reflection of all they sin
So you better look into my eyes, look at what you did
How dare you be disgraced at the boy who really hid
Any form of weakness 'cause he was taught young
If you tell 'em how you feel they gonna use it when you're down
I was fourteen, she was slitting her wrist
I was like twelve seeing OD's shit
I want sixteen when I want to end it
I was eighteen when she lied about a kid
The child that's inside me doesn't understand
How everyone around me can treat me how they did
And now they moved and they're better that's great
So what I do with this pent up rage?
The distaste, the resentment, the hate
If I can't move on, I need therapy, wait
I never needed help, I don't need it now
Now I'm
Smoking at home again
Put a smile on my face
Just a masquerade
Smoking at home again
Put a smile on my face
Just a masquerade
Feel so alone
Now I'm on the other side, I'm looking back
She wanted me to stop living in the past
But that's the only place that I see you anymore
You were my best friend, forget about it all
I'm feeling my chest cave in
The masquerade starts slipping when I get in to reminiscing
I had to distance myself
'Cause I still loved you but you had not felt the same
So I'm in the bottle, I'm bout to swallow anything
I don't care if I tolerate, drowning myself in a drink
Every day is a holiday 'cause I'm tripping when I think about you
And when I do I got to vacate my brain
So I'm on the verge of being maybe okay
But faking a smile comes to me naturally
So when they ask me, am I doing okay?
I don't who really answers, me or masquerade?
Feel so alone again
Even my reflection is too far away
Smoking at home again
Put a smile on my face
Just a masquerade
Feel so alone