Rey 5osa - I'll Name This Song Later Lyrics

I'll name this song later, just tryna clear out my mind
Looking back at my life and how it feels so sublime
Find myself in front of another each mountain I climb
I barely talk to my mother and she not doing fine
Struggling with what and what not to do with my time
She asked me if I love her and I find myself lying
But I know that if I tell her she will find herself crying
And just because it's my fault I will find myself dying
I know that shit don't make no sense but bear with me, I'm trying
Feels like I've climbed a bull when trying to control my mind
But I've gotten good, I haven't fallen off in some time
Quit drinking cause I thought that it'll help me feel fine
But that's the furthest from the truth, I think I'm f*cked by design
I'll probably do the right thing when they make it a crime
Before they dim my light, I'm just here tryna shine
Been tryna wrong my rights, one at a time
And hope that my victims are forgetful as I am
Or that they're willing to give forgiving a try
But I wouldn't bet my life on it or else I would die
We're living in some times where the truth is a lie
I can't shake the feeling someday soon I'ma die
More than likely by the demon I've trapped deep inside
Faking my emotions for the people outside
I've moved so far from the truth that I'm living a lie
I'm breaking up with myself for the despair that I felt
For all the times you neglected me to please someone else
Too busy caring for others, forgot to care for yourself
That's why you hate what you see when you stare at yourself
You put your brain in the freezer and your heart on the shelf
Brain too numb to feel you were harming yourself
Heart out in the open tryna murder itself
Ain't been about you in so long you never heard of yourself
I deserve better if I say so myself
Don't deserve to be someone who wants to be someone else
You disregard the way that you've been making me feel
Hiding your wounds only make them take longer to heal
You're Mr. Glass dressed up as the man of steel
Instagram telling a story that ain't even real
Too afraid your real life doesn't have much appeal
You ain't got music money, you work in a tech field
I just exposed your ass tell me how does it feel
Let's see if they stick around now that the onion is peeled
I'm breaking up with you because I'm tryna find peace
Convincing others I'm fine is a memorized speech
Knowing you far from it just lying out your teeth
I'm leaving you cause I'm tired of you making me weak
I'm leaving you cause you left me out for dead in the street
While you was all cozy under someone else's sheet