If you can help it don't ever smash a toe
It's more agonizing than you'll ever know
Nothing to do but wait til the pain
Goes away
If you can help it don't get a migraine in your head
You'll want to curl up in the dark
And pretend to be dead
Nothing to do but wait til the pain
Goes away
This shit gets old
Older than the hills
Drinking pain pills
To try to make it not hurt
If you can help it don't break a tooth
There's not enough ice water
Or straight vermouth
Nothing to do but wait til the pain
Goes away
If you can help it don't ever crack a rib
It hurts unrelenting
That's no fib
Nothing to do but wait til the pain
Goes away
And this shit gets old
Older than the hills
Drinking pain pills
To try to make it not hurt
If you can help it don't get a broken heart
That's the worst of all like a giant dart
Gimme life's ached and pains over that
Any day
Cuz this shit gets old
Older than the hills
Drinking pain pills
To try to make it not hurt
Yeah this shit gets old
Older than the hills
Drinking pain pills
To try to make it not hurt