Rain in October - A Stain in the Mirror Lyrics

I hate everything about me
I wish I was how I thought I could be
I try to see a life so fulfillingly
Instead of feeling like everything's against me
I just want a life with friends
A life to be beautiful to anyone else
But I feel so ugly and alone
Smiling phantoms of my past self
I am a stain
A pain without a name
Something I hate but can't escape
I try to clean it with hope
But it never goes away
When I look to the world for new connections
I am met with reminders of uselessness and rejection
When I feel like I just want to be there to help
I'm stepped on and flattened while my heart swells
I wish I could see more of a world I would love
But everyday people remind me of their ugliness too
Everyone I would do anything for just to be a friend
Would rather see me fail and to split into two
When I look at my reflection all I see is a shell
Of someone with glimpses of happiness
Left in a place that doesn't feel real
Fake smile to hide my life falling into madness
I am a stain
A pain without a name
Something I hate but can't escape
I try to clean it with hope
But it never goes away
I often wonder how long will this feeling last
Is it temporary or just how I have become
Every time I meet someone new full of life
I want to be apart of it, but also try to avoid them
Afraid to make theirs like mine
I am a stain
A pain without a name
Something I hate but can't escape
I try to clean it with hope
But it never goes away