R. Kelly - Trapped In The Closet Album Lyrics

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Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 1)

Seven o'clock in the morning
And the rays from the sun wakes me
I'm stretchin' and yawnin'
In a bed that don't belong to me
And a voice yells, "Good morning, darlin", from the bathroom
Then she comes out and kisses me
And to my surprise, she ain't you

Now I've got this dumb look on my face
Like, what have I done?
How could I be so stupid to be have laid here til the morning sun?
Must of lost the track of time
Oh, what was on my mind?
From the club, went to her home
Didn't plan to stay that long

Here I am, quickly tryin' to put on my clothes
Searching for my car keys
Tryin' to get on up out the door
Then she streched her hands in front of it
Said, "You can't go this way"
Looked at her, like she was crazy
Said, "Woman move out my way"
Said, "I got a wife at home"
She said, "Please don't go out there"
"Lady, I've got to get home"
She said, her husband was comin' up the stairs

"Shh, shh, quiet
Hurry up and get in the closet"
She said, "Don't you make a sound
Or some shit is going down"
I said, "Why don't I just go out the window?"
"Yes, except for one thing, we on the 5th floor"
"Shit think, shit think, shit quick, put me in the closet"
And now I'm in this darkest closet, tryin' to figure out
Just how I'm gonna get my crazy ass up out this house

Then he walks in and yells, "I'm home"
She says, "Honey, I'm in the room"
He walks in there with a smile on his face
Sayin', "Honey, I've been missin' you"
She hops all over him
And says, "I've cooked and ran your bath water"
I'm tellin' you now, this girl's so good that she deserves an Oscar

Throws her in the bed
And start to snatchin' her clothes off
I'm in the closet, like man, what the f*ck is going on?
You're not gonna believe it
But things get deeper as the story goes on
Next thing you know, a call comes through on my cell phone
I tried my best to quickly put it on vibrate
But from the way he act, I could tell it was too late
He hopped up and said, "There's a mystery going on
And I'm gonna solve it"
And I'm like, "God please, don't let this man open this closet"

He walks in the bathroom
And looks behind the door
She says, "Baby, come back to bed"
He says, "Bitch, say no more"
He pulls back the shower curtain
While she's biting her nails
Then he walks back to the room
Right now, I'm sweating like hell
Checks under the bed
Then under the dresser
He looks at the closet
I pull out my Beretta
He walks up to the closet
He comes up to the closet
Now he's at the closet
Now he's opening the closet...

 

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Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 2)

Well...
Now he's staring at me like
As if he was starin in a mirror
She yells honey let me explain
He says you don't have to go no further
I can clearly see what's goin on
Behind my back, in my bed, in my home
Then I said wait a minute now hold on
I said mister we can work this out
She said honey don't lose control
Tried to get him to calm down
He said ho I should've known
That you would go and do some bogus shit up in my house
But the Christian in me gave you the benefit of the doubt
I said we need to resolve this
Then he stepped to me, I'm like whoa
There's a reason I'm in this closet
He says, yeah like what, are you talkin clothes
I met this girl at the Paje's club
And she told me she didn't have a man
Then he said man please,
I'd kill you if you didn't have that gun in ya hand
And I said but yo chick chose me
He said don't give me that mack shit please
His phone goes off and then things get a little more interesting
He steps a little closer
I point my gun and says I'm not the one you after
He says somethin I bet you didn't know my man
Did she tell you that I was a pastor
I said well good that's betta right
Why can't we handle this Christian- like
And I started to put the gun down
Til I saw his face still had a frown
She started cryin, sayin baby I'm sorry
Then he said baby not as sorry as you're gonna be
I started inchin out
He says no I want you to see this
Said I gotta get out this house
He said not til I reveal my secret
I'm like what is goin on inside his head
Then he takes his phone and calls somebody up and says
Hello, Baby, turn the car around
Listen I just need for you to get right back here now (Click)
He looks at me and says well since we're all comin out the closet
I'm not about to be the only one that's broken hearted
She said what do you mean
And he said just wait and see
I said somebody betta talk to me
And then his phone rang
He picks up and somebody says sweetheart I'm downstairs
And he's like I'll buzz you up
I'm on the fifth floor, hurry take the stairs
And I'm like who is this mystery lady that you're talking to
He says in time you both will know the shockin truth
Baby this is something I been wanting to get off my chest for a long, long time
Then I said, "Nigga, I'mma shoot you both if you don't say what's on ya mind
He said wait I hear somebody comin up the stairs
And I'm lookin' at the door
He says I think you betta sit down in the chair
I says I'm gonna count to four
1, he says mister wait
2, she says please don't shoot
3, he says don't shoot me
4, she screams
Then a knock at the door, the guns in my hands
He opens the door, I can't believe - it's a man

 

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Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 3)

Here we are. The four of us...
In total shock... Me and her.
I closed my mouth and swallowed spit,
And I'm thinking to myself, "This is some deep shit!"
And I said "So you're gonna tell me he's the one he's been talking to?"
He says, "Yes", I say, "No", he says, "Yes", I say, "No", he says, "It's the truth!"

I said, "All of ya'll ass is crazy, let me up out this door,
Because this is way more than I bargained for"
She says, "Wait, I'm sure we can all fix this"
Then I said, "I'm late, plus I ain't gotta damn thing to do with this!"
But then she said, "Wouldn't you just like to know how it all began?"
Then I thought to myself, and said, 'Quick, you got three minutes'
Then it got real quiet, I said, "Somebody start talking"

She said, "My God, Rufus! I've got just one question,
how could you do something like this? I'm so hurt!"
He looked at her and said, "Bitch please, you've got your nerves
With all your club hoppin', lyin' when you said you was shoppin'.
And now here you are in our home, and you're callin' me wrong."

She said, "Okay, you busted me! And that much I agree, you caught me cheating!
But this is a little extreme!"

He said, "You are my wife sleeping behind my back.
And now I come home and you got him in the closet, how extreme is that?!"
And she said, "But she's a he!"
And he said, "Please, you can't judge me"
She said, "But Rufus this is crazy!"
And I said, "Stop arguing!
I did not stay here to hear you chew each other out,
So get to the point, or I swear I'm out!"

"Excuse me, please, but I think I can explain what's going on in here.
My name is Chuck and I been knowing Rufus about a year,
At midnight creeping around with him has been a living hell, sneaking in and out of hotels..."
I said, "Brother, spare the details!"
Then Rufus said, "Chuck, please! Don't say nothing else!"
Then she screams, "Rufus you son of a bitch,"
He says, "Cathy, go to hell!"
I said, "I thought you said your name was Mary, that what you said at the party.
Man this is gettin scary imma shoot somebody!"
Then Rufus start yelling and screaming saying, "Cathy, this is all your fault!"
She throws a pillow at him and says, "You were creeping too, the only difference is you didn't get caught!"
Chuck screamed out, "We're in love!"
Cathy says, "Love my ass!"
Rufus said they're getting married then I shoot one in the air!

I said, "Not annother one of you sons of bitches say a word!
Cuz all this shit I'm goin thru is unheard!"
I grabbed my cellular
I said, "This is so wrong,"
I call up my home,
And a man picks up the phone phone phone phone.....

 

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Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 4)

Now I'm dashin home
Doin 85
Swervin lane to lane
With fire in my eyes
I got a million thoughts
Going through my mind
I'm thinkin about what I'm a do and who I'm gonna do it to when I get home
How could I have been so blind
And then I look in my rear view
I cannot believe this
(Whoo whoo whoo)
Damn, here comes a police man
He drove right up on me and flashed his light
Then I pulled over without thinkin twice
He hopped out the car and walked over to me
And said license and registration please
I looked up at him and said
Officer, is there somethin wrong
He said no, except you were doin' 85 in a 60 mile zone
Then I said officer
Let me explain please
Ya see the truth of the matter is
Is that I have an emergency
He said no excuses
And no exception
I said this is some bullshit
As gives me the ticket
Said have a nice day and walked away
I said yeah right and drove away
Then I turned my radio on
And did 70 all the way home
I pulled up in the driveway
Hopped out and slammed the car door
Then go in through the back
Bust up in the house and
She screamin What's all that for
Then I'm like woman I called this house
And a man picked up my phone
Then she said calm down
Did you forget
My brother Twan came home
Oh...
And that's all I could say was oh
With a stupid look on my face
Said I forgot he came home today
And she said that's okay
Because honey I understand
She said you don't have to explain
Then I took her by the hand
I kissed her and then we went to the room
Then I turned some music on
Apologized one more time
Then went down and start gettin it on
And she started bitin her lip
Grabbing me and makin noise
Now we makin love and she's my ear whisperin
It's all yours
I said I love you
And she said I love ya, too
Then a tear fell up out my eye
Then I called her my sunshine
And then she looked at me
And said baby go deeper please
And that's when I start goin crazy
Like I was tryin to give her a baby
The room feel like it's spinnin
We keep turnin and turnin
As if we were in a whirlwind
The way our toes are curlin
The next thing ya know, she starts goin real wild
And starts screamin my name
Then I said baby, we must slow down
Before I bust a vessel in my brain
And she said please no don't stop
And I said I caught a cramp
And she said please keep on goin
I said my leg is about to crack
Then she cries out
Oh my goodness, I'm about to climax
And I said cool
Climax
Just let go of my leg
She says you're the perfect lover
I said I can't go no futher
Then I flip back the cover
Oh my God, a rubber...

 

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Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 5)

And now, I'm like
Well, well, well
What the f*ck is this
A condom in my bed
Ya better start talkin, bitch
'Fore I take a match and
Burn this muthaf*cka down
I said you better start talkin
And start talkin right god damn now
Then she said baby
I'm so speechless
Then I said my baby
You gone be breathless
If ya don't start talkin quick
Woman, I'm gone have a fit
You don't know what ya f*ckin with
Girl ya better cut the bull shit
Now it's obvious somebody has been all up in my home
In my bed, and plus I smell cigarettes
Now I'm sniffin and lookin around
Suspicious like someone's here
Then I looked in her eyes and in her eyes
There was so much fear
Pull out my gun said is he still here
She shook her head and said naw
I'm checkin behind every door
She cried out he left right after you called
I said what the f*ck was you thinkin
You thought that I wouldn't find this out
Then I said you must be crazy or on crack to have somebody off up in my muthaf*ckin house
She hopped up and said that's enough
She said I can't take no more
And then she said you made your point
But now it's time to even the score
She said I know all about last night
And where you went when you left the club
Said that's right, nigga I was there
With this guy in the back of the club
I said I thought you was with yo girls
She said I thought you was with yo guys
She said you was at that bitch house
And don't even try to act suprised
Said bae, she said shut up
Don't you say a word
It ain't nothin you can say
That I ain't already heard
Then I said woman, don't you try to turn it all around
Cause the fact still remains that someone else was in my house
Then she said you're right about that
Somethin did go down, but I don't have to turn it around
Cause what goes around comes back around
I'm movin a little closer to her
She's trippin over the furniture
She said wait first, just let me explain
I said no need to, just give me his name
And then she said uh... uh
I say uh what
She said please sit down in a chair
And I say no, I'm standin up
And she cries out I'm so scared to tell you because of what ya might do
And I screamed look girl you better give me this man's name and I'm not playin with you
She says "Okay, wipes her nose and asks me about a girl named Tina"
I thought to myself, said it sound familiar
I said I probably know her if I seen her
Then I say anyway girl, what the hell does that got to do with this man
She said he know my girl Roxanne
I said who the hell is Roxanne
Then she says Roxanne's a friend of mine who know with this guy named Chuck
Chuck's cool with this guy name Rufus
And I'm sittin here like what the f*ck
Then she says Rufus wife, Cathy
We both went to high school
She introduced me to
The policeman that stopped you

 

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Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 6)

Belive it or not.
I just started laughing.
Shaking my head.
And just kept on laughing.
Thinking about all the things I had been through that day.
Then cries what why do you have that smile upon your face.
Then I laughed out said thinking about the things that I've been through.
She wipes her nose and she sniggles and laughs out I've been through it too.
Then I start laughing again.
And she start laughing more.
Then next thing you know we both are cracking up on the floor.
She laughs I can't believe this idiot really answered my phone.
Now meanwhile Twan just got out of prison and he's on his way home.
Then she laughs baby I'm sorry for all the lies and all the bullshit.
Then I say girl just wait till I tell you all the drama that I've been dealing wit.
She laughs I wanna hear it all.
Then I laugh and say baby first of all.
I got a hangover, been trapped in the closet, slept wit who knows, threatened to kill a pastor.
She says what.
Baby this is no lie he had a lover turns out to be a gay guy.
She says damn you've been through a lot.
Plus I gotta ticket.
Meanwhile the policeman he turns around.
Just out of concern comes back to the house.
Then he pulls up in the driveway.
My cars parked crooked with the lights on.
Then he goes around the back way.
He hear the dogs barking like somethings wrong.
He gets to the backdoor and discover its been broken in.
He looks around, pulls his gun out, then proceeds in.
Meanwhile were laughing and laughing and laughing.
But from his perspective he thinks somebodies crying.
He gets closer to the bedroom and he would swear that somebody was coughing and sighing.
Meanwhile were in the bedroom laughing as I'm trying to continue to explain.
She yells out Sylvester your killing me.
Said I swear that it went that way.
Then next thing you know he bust up in the room said muthaf*cka freeze.
And then I looked back up at him and said wait your that damn police.
Then she screams baby, I mean James she says everything is cool.
And then he yells Gwendolyn I got this.
I know your sick and tired off this fool.
Then I stood up start walking toward him screaming man get out my house.
Then he yells freeze she scream please and i pulled my barretta out.
She cried out Sylvester please don't.
Visions of him making love to her.
He said man put the gun on the floor.
I can't stop thinking about him and her.
I slowly put the gun and then I put my hands up.
He winked at me and smiled.
And that is when I went nuts.
Hopped all over him grabbed the gun.
She screaming settle down.
Going all around both handling the gun then all of a sudden POW.

 

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Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 7)

There's total silence, blood everywhere
And confusion on their faces as they continue to stare
Then Gwen starts shakin' and cryin' screamin' "What did you do? "
And then the policeman looks at me and screams "See, now I warned you."
Then he starts pacing the floor screamin' "God, what have we done here? ! "
And she rushed to to door, blood on her hands screamin' "There goes your whole career."
Meanwhile, I'm freakin' out sayin' "We gotta do somethin' and gotta do somethin' quick."
Then he picks up the gun and says "I have a wife at home, I can't have no cause of this."
She says "James, I can't believe you just said what you said.
Cause that's not what you said when your ass was in my bed."
Then I said "Gettin' married later, but right now we gotta use our heads. First of all, did anybody check if the man was alive or dead."
Then he looks at her, she looks at me, I look at them and we look at him.
Meanwhile, Gwen's about to have a nervous breakdown the way she's shakin' and cryin'
And then she screams "You bastards! You've killed my brother."
And then I said "Gwen, wait a minute, I didn't... "
She says "No, you killed my brother."
She said "He just got out of prison. He's been through a lot. He was talking about changin' his life and everything and to come home and get shot
Then I said "Baby, it wasn't my fault. This man had a gun on me.
And besides, how was I to know that you was getting down with this crooked ass police."
And he says "Wait a minute... " I say "No, you wait a minute! "
And then I say "Man, this is my wife. We had a life until you butted up in it."
She cried out "Sylvester, now hold on. Even though he was in our home, let's not forget the fact that you was out there creepin' in another man's home."
[Cough cough] [cough cough]
Twan starts coughin'. [cough cough]
She says "Twan! Oh my god! Baby brother, are you okay? "
He looks up at her and says "I'm not gonna die, at least not today."
And then he asks what happened and says "Why did I get shot?
Sylvester what is this policeman doin' here? "
And I said "Go on, tell him cop."
He says "Son, we gotta get you to a hospital and take a look at that wound."
Twan says "No, I'm okay. It's just my shoulder. All I need is a bathroom."
Now five minutes has gone by and they tellin' Twan everything that happened
Twan says "shit man, I would've been better off in prison."
And now somebody's banging at the door and I'm like "Oh no! Here we go again! "
Thinkin' out loud to myself sayin' "When is this shit gonna end? ! "
Then Gwendolyn looks at me and says "Baby, you got that? " And I say "NO! "
She says "Why? " And I said "Because I'm not openin' up another motherf*ckin' door! "
And the cop says "Gwen, I'll get it." Then looks at me and says "Man of the house, my ass! "
Then I say "I'll get it, but whoever it is, I'm about to put their ass on blast! "
And then, the policeman grabbed me. I snatched away and got my gun up off the floor
Then Twan says "Man, that's what I'm talkin' about! Sylvester, point that shit toward the door! "
Then he snatches the policeman's gun and says "Officer, arrest me later."
I count to three, Twan opened the door and it's Rose the nosy neighbor...
Ooh, with a spatula in her hand
Like that's gon do something against them guns
It's Rosy the nosy... whoa
Neighbor...

 

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Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 8)

The policeman gets in his car
And gets right on the phone
Backing up, shaking his head saying
"Let me get my crazy ass home"
And his wife picks up and says
"Darlin' where have you been,
i've been worried about you"
And he says "Police business, honey, I can't wait
to tell you what I've been going through"
She says "Are you okay?" "Yes"
"Do you need anything?" "No"
"Well, I baked you a pie" "Mmm"
"Your favorite: Cherry"
Then he said "I'll be there soon.
Sorry I kept you hanging"
Then she said, "Honey, don't worry about it
Just take your time, I still got some cleanin'"
Now meanwhile Misses Roseys back at Gwen's house
Tellin it all
She said "I knew there was something about that policeman
I started to cut lose my dog"
Gwendolyn looks at her and laughs and says
"Miss Rosey you are nuts"
And i say "all I wanted to know
was what was you gonna do with that spatula"
And then we all laughed
Tron says "shes a G no doubt"
Now lets head right back on over
To the policeman's house
He pulls up in the garage
She doesn't expect for him to come that soon
She rushed to the door
kisses him on the cheek and says "I was in the restroom"
Then he said "Whatcha say that for?"
And then she says "I don't know"
Then he step back, look at her and says
"Whatcha all jittery for?"
Then she says "Sweetheart, maybe it's that time of the month"
Then he says "Maybe? Maybe that time of the month?"
And then shes says "You know what I mean"
He says "I know what came out yo mouth"
He said that "you said maybe
Then she says baby," he walks in the house
She tries to lead him upstairs
But he goes straight to the kitchen
She says "Hun, I bought you some pears"
And then he said "I'ma heat this chicken"
Then she turns around thinking to herself
With this weird look on her face
Then he screams "Woman, what wrong witchu,
why are you walking back and forth, pacing?"
Before she answers she's thinkin' to herself
"What am I to say?"
Because the truth of the matter is
that she just slept with another man today
And he started calling her name
"Bridget, I know you her me"
But she can't turn around
Because the truth on her face
He will see it
Then he screams "Bridget"
"Yes""Look at me"
Bridget turns around and then he says
"Whatcha got up your sleeve?"
She's scared out of her mind
Stuttering and shaking and
still talking about some pears
He starts screaming saying
"Woman Im not going up no stairs"
Now he's got a funny feeling
Something just don't seem right
He's looking at her while she's backing up
Then he says "With all my might,
Woman, I swear I'll shoot somebody
if you been doing wrong"
But little does he know
somebody is still right there in his home

 

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Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 9)

He looks around the kitchen, and says 'something is really weird',
She says 'why do you say that?' He says 'cos you keep tryin' to get me outta here',
He says 'ever since I been in this house your face has went from white to red
and remember when I first walked through the door you acted like you had seen a ghost from the dead'

Then he says 'girl if you hidin' something i'm gonna be so mad', then he hears
something fallin he says ' what the f*ck was that?'
She says ' it sound like it came from upstairs, sounds like the plumbing',
He said 'woman that sound did not come from upstairs, i'll be damned if you're not up to something,

The sound that i just heard, it came from this kitchen, and then he looks over by the stove
while shes easin' over by the dishes. and then he walks over to the refridgerator and pushes it back,
and then he looks in her face, looks like shes about to have a heart-attack, then he notices the pie on the counter
One slice is missing, now the stories gettin' scary, cos he comes to realise that Bridget is allergic to cherry.

Then he slowly looks up at her and now her face is red as hell, he's breathing real hard,
movin' closer, she says 'hon you don't look so well'
And then he says move
She says no
He says move
She says no
BITCH MOVE!!! she moves, and then, he looks at the cabinet,
he walks to the cabinet, he's close to the cabinet, now he's opening the cabinet.
Now pause the movie cos what i'm about to say to ya'll is so damn twisted,
Not only is there a man in his cabinet, but the man... is a MIDGET!

 

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Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 10)

Now the midget jumps outta the cabinet and stomps the policemen on his toe
The policemen hoppin around on 1 leg screamin "son of bitch" while he runs under the table
He yells ''freeze'' dives over the table and lands on the midget...while the midget is kickin
real fast screamin out bridget,bridget ,
"She yells darlin don't hurt em'"
He says bridget get yo' ass back...then he continue to ruff up the midget as if the midget was under attack...
Then bridget runs up to her room, goes in her purse and pulls a number out...
The police puts him on the table and yells "Man, what the hell you doin' in my house?!"
He whips cherry pie crust off his mouth and says man, i was paid not to tell you
Then the police pulls his gun out and yells trespassin man I got the right to shoot you..
The midget says mr. the man that pay me to this would kill me if i tell
He points the gun in his face, the midget say ''god i think i just shited on myself''
Now at Sylvester's house Twon gotta patch on his shoulder playin cards gettin alone
There laughing and talking when Sylvester says Gwendolyn, baby, get the phone
Then she walks away from the table picks it up and say "hello" there's a lady on the other line panic-n-
cryin and talkin all offf the wall,
Gwen says wait slow down, who am i talkin tooo
"My names bridget and i found your number in my husband's pocket, I had to call you"
2mins later Gwen shakin her head sayin girl i understand, Sylvester says who is it baby?
She hangs up and gives him the address,
Now meanwhile back at the policemen house the midget cryin his ass off while he lyin threw his teeth bout
to get lil ass told off,
Then bridget bust in the kitchen with a double barrow sayin "james i can't let you do this"
Then he looks at her and says what? you shoot me for this
f*ckin midget she says "I love him"

Now bridget and james stairin each other down slowly backin apart..then the midget takes his inhaler out
and says this is not good for my heart,
Then james says bridget don't make me do this baby put the gun down...thats when Sylvester and Twon
busted up in the house... and says you put the gun down..whoo while Twon & Sylvester sniffen around...
tryina firgure out whats that smell...as they turn and look at each other like whaaat the...hell.....?

 

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Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 11)

Now the midget begain to wake up cause he fainted from all the maddest...he see 3 guns pointed around the room he stand and says I have nothing to do
with this...,then I said hold up you look familler..do I know you from somewhere?,then he says man i get around..you might know my face from here or there
''Then james says take a good look cause you might not ever see his face again...''
Twon says man what the hell is that smell? s-nnn...somebody then broke wind!and then bridget start cryin while she lookin around,I said im sure we can
work this out but first lets put the guns down...then bridget crys
"james first" then he said no you go!,then I say just do it the sametime and they both look at me and said no!
And then Twon says man let me shoot'em all, ''and I said we can't do that'' and beside man you just got out of prison and i'll be damn if you going
back...then bridget says "I'll would drop the gun if he promise not to hurt ''big man'',then james says thats what you call-em- (ahh)thats his name big
man! then Twon says man is that ya' name?he yells yea!we laught hot mess, then I say man why they call you that?and said ''because im bless''...
Then I start shakin my head put the gun down sayin this is to much for me!said I cant take no' more then heard it all this shit bout to drive me
crazy...and then I say man I shouldn't never took my ass to the par'jays club...
Then big man says par'jays..I been there that probally where you know me from,then james says hey hey Chuck and Rufus lets get back to the matter of
hand,then Sylvester says cool but first there just 1thing I gotta understand...james says ''whaaat''?,
Then Sylvester says how do you know Chuck and Rufus?and police says spss..what you talkin bout man?
You said Chuck and Rufus..then bridget says "hun my stomach" then Twon says who the hell is Chuck and Rufus?...pointed my gun and said talk to me
james..I said Rufus, Chuck? then bridget says "ima bout throw-up-"
James says my wife is sick..Twon says ''man don't believe that shit''... I said how did ya' wife get sick?...
He says she 3months pernacy!then we all said ooo shit!,
Then bridget says "honey thurrs something I have to tell ya",then james says no baby you don't have to say a word right now...then says "but
james"..then he says rest bridget while I get these fools up out my house...pointed the gun at us and yells leave...said my wife is sick..then Twon look
at him and said muthaf*cka you crazy..watch where you point that shit!...then bridget says "james nooo"...Sylvester gets a phone call...its Gwendolyn
askin him is everything ok...and he says hell naw! he hangs up.. then big man says look man im just a stripper... I say stripper?Twon says a midget... he
says I strip at this club called dixie and that is where I meet bridget...,Bridget says james he says not now..she says "hun please let me explain"...then
Twon whisper in my ear and says Sylvester let me do this nigga james...then Big man over hear us and takes his inhaler again..then I said im not killin no
cop...james movin closer to them with the gun..then bridget yellin stop,stop,stop and then she says "I admitted, I did it , I paid em'"...then james cuts
her off and says baby you don't have to say nothing...,then she says no "james I think you need to hear this"..."see I been coverin for you a long time..
never said what was on my mind...I even follow you a few times...and when I say you with her you act like I was blind"..james says wait a minute bridget
just what are you tryin tell me?..."not only im I sleepin with big man but hes my baby's daddy,...whoooo the midget faints again...while Twon in Sylvester
is trippin...the midget is the baby's.....daddy....whoo

 

---

Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 12)

Now lets jump back to Cathy's house..they getting up off the floor...then Rufus says Chuck are you ok?
Then Cathy close the door..then Chucks says Rufus what the hell just happend?Rufus says I tell ya...
She just almost got us shot right here in this room...then Cathy says you got nerd almost got you shot when
you snicking en' and outta hotels with him aint tellin what I got...then Chucks says what do you mean by that?
Cathy looks at him and says firgure it out!...he says whooo Rufus she don't know me I'll would cut this bitch right now,Whoo!...Come and try it
muthaf*cka...I swear! just try it...f*ck you hoe!I swear just try it! let me at uh..
Come on bitch!...try it..muthaf*cka Rufus let me go!....I swear the god try it...''Come On'',try it, bitch come on...
Come the f*ck down!Rufus says...Rufus says Chuck with talk bout later...then Cathy says this shit is sad...
Then Rufus says it is what is Cathy we might'est well talk bout it...and try to get some understanding...she says understand shit.. I dout it...they
talkin loud while phones ringin,ringin,ringin,ringin but no one answer.... just ignores it.. Rufus says I said come down...you both actin like damn
fools!..wife and a pastor and a deccan now how would that look in the news? Cathy says a wife and pastor looks good on the news..then looks at Chuck and
says but a pastor and a deccan Rufus you don't wont me to ansnwer you...at then Chuck yells bitch who do you think you are? I got a right to love who ever
I please...then Cathy says if you don't get yo narrow ass out my house cause hoe this who ever belongs to me...and then Rufus nobody going no where...til'
we firgure this out we all just be right here...and then Cathy and Chuck wont stop stairing at each other...Cathy snocks..her nose up and him..Chucks
rolls his eyes at her...then phones rings again..(ringin,ringin,ringin) but this time
Cathy walks over and answer it..says hello longs resident...Cathy this Gwendolyn can you talk?Cathy says
im in the middle of something not now... Gwendolyn says girl this can't wait please get somewhere quick to yourself right now...then Cathy says hurry im
listen shoot...Gwen says ok..I'll make it quick girl remember the policemen you introduce me to?she says yea...what uh bout em'?anyway girl shit was tight
until this morning everthing went wrong! Chuck looks at Rufus and says what the hell? he says I don't know...she says damn'it im on the phone..
She says go hell Gwen...Gwen says well it all started at this club that I was at last night..(ummm)girl me and
james sittin up back vip everthing was so right (ummm gon' on)! well me and james sittin there laughten and drinkin next thing you know here comes
Sylvester up in there with some crusty wig wearing ass hoe...Cathy
looks at the wig on the floor she says girl whats the name of that club...Gwen says par'jays she flops down
on the bed...like what the f*ck?then Cathy says Gwendolyn...Gwendolyn says girl im not finish then she start
tellin her bout the policemen wife Bridget who was gettin down with this midget...then Cathy says Gwendolyn
girl listen but Gwendolyn going on and on she steady tryin get her tension but Gwen steady going on and on
Then Rufus scream Cathy are we gon' finiish this conversation or what?and Cathy says Rufus im on the phone
Then Rufus says ''bitch I don't give a f*ck''...then Cathy says Gwendolyn shut up girl damn..just listen to me
you know that crusty wearin hoe that you was talkin about...Gwen says uh uh..Cathy says well...Gwen says well..well what? Cathy says girl...Gwen says
Cathy...Cathy say Gwen im sorry girl but that hoe was me....

 

---

Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 12.5)

Come and take a walk with me, through the streets of shottown.
Lets look back, and remanence on all of the shit that went down.
Paster Rufas Longs comes homes to finds his wife's been sleeping around with Sylvester.
Oh shit.
Sylvester cell phone rings he comes out the closet pointing his bereta.
Oh shit.
Then the go through this thing arguing, fussing then time goes by. And then Cathy finds out about Rufus lover Chuck the gay guy.
Oh shit.
And then Sylvester calls home. Never nowing that a man would answer his phone.
Oh shit.
And then he got to his house bust up in it, to find his wife Gwendelen, she was f*cking around with this susauge head ass police. Then and the they got into a fight.
Oh shit.
Rasling over a gun.
Oh shit.
And Gwen sceaming stop next thing you know they shot her brother Twon.
Oh shit.
Just a lick. He was barly hurt.Know here comes Rose the nosy nieghbor. She thinks she's the nieghborhood savrior.And things got real twisted.
Oh shit.
Police got home in his kitchin.
Oh shit.
To find his wife Bregett.
Oh shit.
Is pregnant by this midget.
Well so far that's how the story goes. And know it's time to continue on.So get ready. Here comes chapter 13.

 

---

Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 13)

Sylvester and Twan gets in the car
Sylvester says "man first of all, straighten yo hat
Now man I'm about to go holla at somebody and I'm a need you to watch my back"
Then Tawn says, "man you ain't even got to worry bout me, bruh-in-law I'm straight"
Sylvester says "yeah youse straight aight but'cha hot head ass nigga just like when ya caught that case
Tawn says "ah here we go you bringing that shit up, that wouldn't shit but a misdemeanor
Sylvester says "misdemeanor my ass you did three years"
He says "that's because of Roxanne and that bitch Tina"
"Man, yo sister ask me about a Tina"
Tawn say "when I see her I'm a kill her, what did Dwen ask you? "
"She ask me if I knew her, I said she sound familiar"
Sylvester says, "hold up, man what'chu doing? " And then Tawn says "man what'chu mean? "
Then Sylvester says "man is that a cigarette? " Tawn says "man nah this some weed"
Sylvester pulled over saying "nah hell nah, nigga what the f*ck you forget where we are? "
Tawn said "one for the road"
Sylvester says "you crazier than a fish with titties if you think I'm a let'chu smoke that shit up in my car
Now throw that shit out" Tawn looks at Sylvester like he ain't try'na hear that
Sylvester says "throw that shit out" Tawn looks around and say "shit" throws it out
They pulled off and Sylvester says "now this Roxanne and Tina man what's that all about? "
Now while they talk about that, let's head on over to Rosie the noisy neighbors house
She's peeking out her window saying "it's sumthin' going on over there with Burner, Dean and Ted"
Then her husband turns over and says "woman what's wrong with you? Bring yo noisy ass back to bed"
She says "now Randolph, I don't like that tone you taking with me"
He says "ah shut up woman you always in foopin', gettin' folk they privacy"
Then Rosie says "I can look out my gotdamn window whenever I want"
Randolph say "yeah, well what'chu lookin' at? What'chu lookin' at? Hmm? "
Now Rosie and Randolph are arguing screaming at each other loud as they can
Rosie says, "Randolph ain't nobody stunnin' you, so go on back to sleep with your ole grumpy ass"
Then Randolph says "shut'cha ass up woman, shit folk got to get some sleep around here"
Then Rosie says "sleep, shit, mister can't get it up yo tired ass been asleep for the last five years"
"Now watch your mouth woman" "go to hell Randolph, oh you don't tell me what to do"
Can't nobody tell yo ass-" "I'm a grown ass women I can do whatever the hell I wanna do"
"Yeah, yeah... well do it then" "I'm a do it then"
"Do it then" "I'm a do it then" "goin on loe "I'm on loe
"And hope a pigeon fly by here and shit on yo face" " (gasps) " "Oh Lord forgive me for what I was said"
"If it do, if it do, then I'm goin wipe the shit on you"

Now meanwhile between while back to Sylvester and Tawn
They driving along when Tawn says "so man, where we going? "
Sylvester says "man don't worry about that, just be on the lookout and Tawn, ya hat"
"Oh my bad" "gimme a light
"Now when we pull up, you keep the car in driving whatever you do keep on watching"
"Man like I said before, don't trip bruh-in-law, go handle yo business"
"Well I'm about to see if I can get this bitch to talk to me, we made a deal and she owe me some money"
"Man I feel ya G, so call me if you need me"
"Man everything should go smooth"
"Sylvester don't make me have to come up in there and smack me a couple of dudes"

 

---

Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 14)

Time goes by (it's 30 minutes later)
Time goes by (45 minutes later)
Time goes by (and now one hour later...)

A car pulls up to a restaurant; the door opens as someone gets out
First thing you see is some heels and a dress black shades on scarf around her head and mouth
Who could it be, why are they here up the stairs there going
Through the door down the aisle like she's walking in slow motion
Checking out the place as she walks looking real cool
Peeping out through her glasses before she sits in the booth
She goes in her purse throws a cigarette out, put it in her mouth he lights it
Then she blows smoke, pause for a minutes and says "what the hell happened? "
"First of all woman keep your voice down I ain't try'na get loud up in here
Second of all how was I to know that'cha husband, was a f*cking queer"
"Shh" (clears throat) The waitress walks by
She says "I'll be with y'all in a minute"
"Now we made a deal the plan was for me to come home with you, girl I did my part
So don't you go asking me what the hell happened when I didn't want to do this shit from the start"
And then she says "yeah right, you didn't want to do this shit but'cha ass got paid
And then she says "Sylvester" I said "hold up bitch are you crazy, don't be saying my name"
She said "whatever, how come you did tell me you was married to Gwen? "
"First of all between the fake wigs and fake names how the hell am I suppose to know that Gwen is yo friend, bitch I'm a-"
"Shh, here comes the waitress again"
"Sorry I kept y'all waiting, childish place is busy
It's always crowded about this time can I start y'all off with sumthing to drink? "
I said "I'll just have a coffee with two sugars light on the cream"
And she said "Vodka straight up, hell, shit I need a drink"
Then the waitress said "girl I heard that I'll be right back with your drinks"
And then she walks away, I look back at her and says "she look familiar too me"
And she says "what? " I say "nothing, it's just a thought
Anyway girl I thought the plan was for me to be in that house with'chu and get caught"
She says "It was" I said "what how? " She say "I changed my mind"
I blew smoke then I blew my cigar out said "I'm out this motherf*cker cause you wasting my time"
She says "wait don't go" "well [?] dammit, talk to me"
She says "you wouldn't understand"
"Try me" (Cathy sobs) "Cathy" "Yes? " "Try me"
She blows her nose and says "well it all started one night when I was sitting in the living room
And sounds like I can hear somebody in the bedroom moaning and groaning
And I knew it wasn't me, so my curiosity
Led me to believe that he was cheating on me"
"Well how come you just didn't ask him give him the benefit of the doubt? "
"Because a woman knows, a woman just knows what some shit is foul"
And then I said "calm down, here comes the waitress"
"Ooh like I said it's busy around this time, but thank y'all for being patient
Say can I get y'all anything else? " I said "no that'll be all"
Then Cathy says "Sylvester" he says "hold on", cause he's getting another phone call
It's Tawn saying "everything aight? " Then Sylvester says "we working it out"
Then Tawn says "well call me if you need me dawg you know I'm holding you down" and I said "no doubt"
I hang up then Cathy says "well anyway let me get back to telling you what went wrong
Where was I, oh yeah the day I heard him arguing on the phone"
Now the story goes on and on and she telling him everything that happened
While Tawn's outside in the car, radio on bopping his head just rapping
Sylvester said, "Girl are you saying he was having sex with another man on the phone? "
She says "yes" I say "I can't talk about this" she says "why? " say "cause this shit is getting uncomfortable"

Now back to Tawn he turns the radio down cause he gets a call
He says "yeah whattup? " and the voice says "Yo T I got that information on Tina" he says "talk to me dawg"
"Well the word out on the street is the bitch is stop horring, doing hair out her momma's basement and got a job, hahaha
"Haha is right the day that bitch stop horring is the day they stop selling dops" (haha) "Ya feel me Joe? " (word)
"Where the bitch work at a candy sto'? "
"Nah, the job that she got suppose to be legit, I heard ya girl off on some ole waitress shit"
"Yeah, waitress where? " "Hold on I'm waiting on my people to hit me, Roxanne and aunty on the place"
"You shittin' me, where this place at? " He says "Hold up, I'm getting a phone call"

Now meanwhile Sylvester's asking Cathy "Well why you still love him? "
Then Cathy says "Cause when I saw Chuck I just couldn't lose him to him"
And then the waitress comes again but this time she brings the bill
I last her a fifty says keep the change she says "damn thanks, shit y'all keep it real"
Now meanwhile outside in the car, Tawn's getting impatient his homie comes back to the phone
Tawn says "do I look like N vogue? " He says "why? " he says "nigga cause the way you got me holding on"
"I got'cha dawg, I got where the bitch work live information and all"
"Yeah nigga I'm listening" "well nigga first of all, you gotta keep me down cause I went through a lot of crazy shit to find her"
"Yeah whatever I got'chu"
"I'm dealing with some nigga in the jet free minders, round the corner is a place called Shay Shay's Diner
"Nigga you forget I just did 3 years, I need the exact address to where this place is"
"My bad you right kid, 9501 that's right off Holston"
Pause it right there, now shoot back into the restaurant real quick

Sylvester looks up at the waitress and says "excuse me but it seems like I know ya"
And at the same time Tawn's in the car going "man this address sounds familiar"
Meanwhile in the restaurant the waitress blows her bubble and says "where you know me from? "
Tawn's homie gives him the name of the place again he looks up at the sign and says "what the f*ck? "
Now meanwhile back in the restaurant Cathy's nudging me under the table going "Sylvester"
Then Sylvester looks at the name tag on the shirt and notices that shit says "TINA"
Then, the waitress starts backing up with this confused look on her face
While Tawn's outside on the phone telling his homie "man I'm right outside of the f*cking place"
Then Sylvester says "hold up, I just wanna talk to you for a minute"
Then she starts screaming Roxanne's name real loud, this bitch comes running from the back with a skillet
Then Tina breaks her beer bottle on the table and says "nigga I will cut you with this glass"
Cathy walks by me going out the door saying "not try'na get loud in here my ass"
Tina starts wobbing around Sylvester real slow saying "we take Tae-bo classes"
Then Tawn runs up in the place and says "I will kill both of y'all knucklehead asses"

 

---

Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 15)

[Tawn:] "Well, well, well if it ain't Laverne and Shirley"
Tina says "hey Tawn" Tawn says "Pssh, bitch don't 'hey Tawn' me"
Sylvester says "Calm down T" he says "f*ck that I just did 3 years for these hoes"
Roxanne says "who you calling a hoe? " He says "you bitch"
She lost control and says "Muthaf*cker I kill yo ass"
[Overlapping]
[Sylvester:] "Stop! Wait a minute. Let's talk about it before some muthaf*cking body get hurt T"
[Twan:] What? With a skillet! Bitch I will... Mannn!
[Roxanne:] C'mon! Damn right! Jump nigga! You better tell em!
[Twan:] F*ck that!
[Sylvester:] "Wait a minute, nigga think about it" "3 years" "3 years this time will be worst... now come here"
Sylvester takes Tawn to the side
Tina tell Roxanne to calm down, then Sylvester says to Tawn,
"Look now I know you mad but before you go around here making threats
Nigga let's not forget the fact that'cha out but you still on house arrest"
Then Tawn says "cool man I just wanna ask em some questions about what happened"
Sylvester said "I feel you but calm ya ass down or nigga you going back in"
Tawn says "I got'chu" "house arrest" "I got'chu I got'chu"
"T... chill" then Tawn walks over to them and says,
"How you doing ladies, Tina, Roxanne, please excuse me"
I mean, where's my manners cause uh, that was very rude of me"
"Tawn" "Nah I admit the way I came up in here man it was kinda wild
But that ain't shit compared to the way things gone be ("Tawn! ") if these bitches don't tell me what went down"
[Roxanne:] Bastard!
[Sylvester:] T, Motherf*cka slow ya roll calm down nigga stop this shit (c'mon)
"Sylvester f*ck that all because of these bitches my ass got send up on a three-year bid" (c'mon muthaf*cka)
"What'chu goin do nigga kill these bitches? " "Yeah" "And then what, then what?
Life nigga... they'll lock yo ass up and throw away the key"
Then, Tawn starts thinking about it while Tina and Roxanne's watching him
And I say "man forget about it" he says "no" I say "well let me talk to them"
He say "they slick ass man you can't trust them"
"Nigga it ain't about me trusting them it's about you trusting me right now...
Nigga what's wrong with you are you crazy you forgot I did 5 years in the pen myself
Now I'm telling you I'm not going back for you, these bitches and no motherf*ckin body else
So let me talk to em... I got this"
Sylvester takes out his gun and shows it to the ladies walks up to em and says "now ladies"
He takes the cigarette out of Roxanne's ear and says "ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies"
He walks over to the counter and sits down
He puts the gun on the counter, goes into his pocket and pull a cigarette lighter out
And then he lights the cigarette, blows smoke and then says,
"Now ladies it's very obvious that we have a problem here
Alot of questions unanswered; let's answer em so we can get out of here
Hmm... safe that is"
He flicks ashes and says "ok, which one of y'all going start talking first? "
Then, Tina start crying saying "it was suppose to be a simple operation"
And Roxanne says "if we delivered muscle man here said it would be a vacation"
Tawn says "man I'll show you a vacation ("Tawn") send y'all ass straight to the motherf*cking moon"
"Tawn, what did I tell you? Ladies, continue"
Then Roxanne said "on the way to Atlanta everything was going smooth
Up until, Tawn starts smoking trees and acting like a fool
And that's real, got the radio loud bumping Mary Jane just swerving and shit.
"Did you tell him to stop? " "Yeah I told him to stop, but he just kept yelling out talkinbout 'I'm Rick James bitch'"
Sylvester looks at Tawn, Tawn says "man I was drunk"
Sylvester said "drunk... you was drunk"
Tawn said "man I don't know I was just try'na have a lil fun" "With a whole lotta heat in the trunk
Man I'm disguised, nigga know wonder why yo ass got busted"
Then Tawn says "man who side are you on anyways, there's? "
Then Sylvester said "well let's see, represent dangerment, loud music with drugs in the trunk nigga yeah"
Tawn says "man this is some bullshit" Roxanne says "can I finish? "
"Please, " Sylvester says; she says "well to make a long story short"
Tina says "Roxanne, girl let me explain
See Tawn was kinda acting wildin' calling us all out of our names
Then Roxanne starts cursing and screaming, and meanwhile I'm in the backseat
Then all I know is I look behind me, I say 'oh shit, here comes the police'"
Roxanne said "next thing you know, Tawn started speeding yelling out 'they ain't goin stop us'"
Tina says "a few minutes later here come these squat cars and a f*cking helicopter"
Sylvester said "did he stop then? " Tina says "no! "
Roxanne says "but luckily that raggity ass car he was driving stopped on us, or where would be who knows"
Then Roxanne says "anyway here we are the three f*cking stooges laid down in the dirt
Now they putting us in the back of the car Tawn yelling out 'whatever y'all do don't say a f*cking word'
And now we at the police station, they got us separated off up in these rooms
Yelling all in our ears saying 'ya man try'na set these drugs belong to you'
And I'm like 'what the f*ck' they say 'sister yo light is looking kinda dim'
I looked up at Tina and said 'girl, I'm not going down, not for him'
So there you have it Tawn, I gave you up, it was me!
Tina she protected you" Tawn said "protected me for what? " Tina say "cause at the time I was pregnant by you T! "

 

---

Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 16)

"Hmm, I see"
Sylvester looks up at Tawn and says "Congratulations man it looks like you the one done have yourself a little T"
Tawn says "ah nah nah, eh, this girl is trippin' G"
Tina says "Trippin? " Roxanne says "chk-humph"
Tawn says "girl, with'cho lying ass, tell me how do you know-" "T" "That that baby belong to me"
Then I don't know where Tina's eyes start blinking real fast and she says to Tawn "how do I know Tawn? "
Sylvester say "are you ok? " "How do I know? "
Then Roxanne says "girl I told you his ass was goin deny this shit when he saw you, let's go"
Sylvester says "wait a minute" Tawn says "Bye" Sylvester says "Tawn" he hits "see ya"
They both paused turn around Tina looked at Tawn and says "—in court muthaf*cker wouldn't wanna be ya"
Sylvester says "Tawn, ladies please, wait a minute, don't go yet"
Tawn said "they need to learn some respect" I say "Tawn" he says "holla"
Roxanne says "nigga she goin holla at that child support check"
Sylvester saying "nobody going nowhere, now y'all resolve this so we can put this shit in the past"
Roxanne say "cool will talk to you but we ain't got shit to say to his ole Shrek looking ass"
[Tawn:] "Chill see man who this fever blisted looking bitch think she talking too? " "T? "
She says "you muthaf*cka" I say "damn baby calm down, " I say she says "what, what'chu goin do? "
Tina starts to blink her eye again but this time even faster than before
And she cries out real loud and says "I can't take this shit no more! "
Then Sylvester asks Roxanne "what's wrong with'cha girl's eye, it's like it keep it flinching"
She said "a year ago a pimp hit her in her eye and ever since then she got this nervous condition"
Then Tawn develops a soft spot and says "Sylvester, come here lemme holla"
Tawn pulls him to the side and says "man what do you think? " He says "what'chu mean? " he said "am I that baby's father? "
Then Sylvester says "I don't know it's hard to tell, especially when you was in the pen
But it's one thing I do believe and that is, is that the bitch didn't turn you in"
Then Tawn start walking around saying "man I don't know, a nigga feeling kinda strange"
Then Sylvester says "Gwen told me y'all that'chu was thinking about making a change
Roxanne yell out "I gotta lock this place up and y'all two got to go"
Sylvester say "what time do this place close? " She says "eight" He pulls his gun and says "well act like it's a quarter to four! "
Then he says "talk to the girl Tawn it might be what'chu need"
Tawn says "a family man me? Man I'm too deep in these streets"
Sylvester says "man that's exactly my point this shit will settle you down
You need to get up off of that bullshit and go holla at that girl right now"
Roxanne looking crazy I'm like "Go! " Tawn say "Sylvester man—" I'm like "Go! "
Then Roxanne moves closer to Tina, Tawn give me five and then says "f*ck it cho! "
Then he steps to Tina and says "Tina, you wanna work this out? "
Then Roxanne tongue kisses Tina dead in her mouth and says to Tawn "I'm f*cking her now! "

 

---

Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 17)

[Sylvester scoffs]
[Tawn:] "Yeah bruh-in-law that's what I'm talking about shoot em"
[Sylvester scoffs]
"Man well let me-"
[Sylvester scoffs again] "Shh"
"Y'all lucky I like that kinda shit, or I'll been a shot both of y'all ass
C'mon Tawn let's get the f*ck up outta here"
[Tawn:] "Wha what you just goin let em get away with this shit? "
"What, kissing? Nigga come on... bring ya ass! "
"Shit... f*ck that, I'm a go buy me a gun... and I'm a come back here and set this muthaf*cka off
Yeah bitches, beledat... "
"BRING YA ASS NIGGA! "
"Gimme my muthaf*ckin coat! "

 

---

Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 18)

[Tawn:] "Man I can't believe these bitches all the shit I done went through and Tina's ass man kissing that bitch ooh! "
[Sylvester:] "Nigga calm down that's just what'cha ass get, did I tell ya not to go f*cking with these damn tricks"
"Oh oh, but'chu the one told me holla at her" "nigga all I was try'na do was make it better you know stop the violence
But who would ever thought the bitch was diking (laughs) "
"Well I'm glad to know that you having a good time and think this shit is funny"
"Bullshit to the side nigga you better start talking to me about how they get this money"
[Gwen calls] but Tawn is still cursing and talking loud
[Gwen calls] Sylvester say "it's Gwen man calm your voice doooooowwwwnnnnnnn, hello" (staticing)
"Gwendolyn" (phone is staticing) "baby we getting a bad connection"
The phone still staticing then Gwen says "Can you hear me now? " "no" "can you hear me now? " "babe"
"Can you hear me now? " "Ok I got'chu" "good"
"Na, Sylvester where you at I'm waiting on you? " "Baby I'm on my way home to you"
"Movies or no" "Baby sumthing came up and I got sumthing else to do"
"Well Mona called" "what did Mona want? " "Same old thing just talking about Dale"
"What daddy done done this time? " "Drinking and cursing people out she put his ass in jail"
"Daddy be trippin he think he big pimpin" "well Mona say he touch her he goin be limpin
You know your peoples on the Westside be trippin" "I'll see you in a minute" "well hurry up I'm cooking"

Meanwhile at the church, Rufus is getting his praise on
With the Reverend Mosley James Evans in the peace within choir
Oh they dancing, oh they shouting, so many people being broken
You gotta see the rest for yourself, the doors to the church is open

(Song changes as Reverend MJE and choir sings)
He will (Jesus goin work it out) work it out (Jesus goin work it out)
God will (Jesus goin work it out) work it out (Jesus goin work it out)
Saints (Jesus goin work it out) don't cha get my offer (Jesus goin work it out)
Don't cha get my offering (Jesus goin work it out) uh, in the second offering (Jesus goin work it out)
Hey! (Work it out)
Didn't he didn't he work it out (work it out) didn't he didn't he work it out (work it out)
Didn't he didn't he work it out (my God will work it out)
Hey, all my winners do, hey (work it out) baby need a parachute, yeah (work it out)
Turned it all over to Jesus (work it out) Hey yeah! (Work it out)
Hey, good God almighty, how many of y'all know that he worked it out? (Yeah)
Choir help me (worked it out) hey, he done already did it (for you-ooh-ooh)
Hallelujah!

Then Rufus goes to his office and answers his phone
Put his hand over the speaker told his assistant "I need to be alone" (work it out)
He watches her as she leaves the room (for you-ooh-ooh)
[Reverend MJE:] Said I got the rest of the church is open, Pimp Lucus come on down, hallelujah! "
She close the door, and he says "Chuck"
(Song changes back from beginning)
Then Chuck says "Rufus! "
And then they talk at the same time then Rufus says "Chuck you go first"
"Rufus I been try'na get in touch with you, I'm blowing up your phone"
Then Rufus says "I had a lot of things to do around the church Chuck tell me what's wrong? "
"What's wrong, what's wrong, I'll tell you what's wrong, Rufus I'm missing you"
"Chuck calm down, I miss you too"
"How come you haven't called me? " "All because I been busy"
"Ooh that is a lie" "Chuck I'm telling the truth" "bullshit Rufus that is not the real excuse
It's her" "Chuck wait a minute—" "It's her ain't it"
"Chuck listen to me, now you know and I know that Cathy is my wife
I mean, you knew that I had another life"
"Yeah that's true, sure I knew and we bout to keep it between us too
All of the hotels and things we do, how we told each other I love you" "Chuck"
"And you told me I was your dream come true" "Chuck"
"And now you're throwing your wife at my face wouldn't saying that shit when I was f*cking you! " "Chuck not on the phone"
Cathy walks in to let Rufus know she's back
Rufus pause for a minute and then says "Chuck I'll call you back"
He hangs up and then Cathy says "baby who were you talking too? "
He didn't know he pushed speaker phone Chuck cries out "RUFUS I NEED YOU! "
Cathy starts snapping then Chuck starts snapping
Then Rufus tries to calm him down, Cathy took in the phone and throwing it around
Then Rufus says "Cathy go" she says "oh you putting me out your office?
All the shit we just went through Rufus" "Cathy go back in church I got this"
Cathy leaves out; Rufus gets right back on the phone and says "Chuck let me come see ya"
Chuck says "no" then Rufus says "we gotta talk" Chucks says "Rufus don't let me goooooooooooo"
He cries, but Rufus he ain't feeling it
But Chuck is steady going on and crying ("Rufus I really love you don't let me go") but he ain't feeling it
He's talking, coffing, cursing and screaming and crying
Then Rufus says "Chuck, this is gonna be hard" "Rufus" "but I love my wife" "Rufus" "Besides I'm a man of God"
"Rufus! " Chuck says "Rufus I'm not gonna expect that, I'm going straight to the news! "
Then Rufus says "Chuck, slow down you don't know what'cha saying you're confused! Rufus says "let come see ya! "
Chuck says "NO! " Rufus says "WHY!? "
[Coughs] "Cause I'm in the hospital"

 

---

Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 19)

Chapter 19
[Reverend MJE:] "Pimp Lucus ah... you have been on my heart (yeah) hallelujah (hallelujah)
Thank ya Jesus (yes Lord) in the look that you had got a world from God (hmm-mmm)
Now Pimp Lucus God is telling me you don't wanna pimp no mo' (yeah)
He saying to me he's saying you wanna stop pimping ALL these hoes (amen)
And turn yo life around haha hmm (just turn it around Lucus)
Now if you wanna (yeah) God'll do it for ya (yeah)
Yes he will (yeah) come on choir help me sing it, come on...
You can do it Pimp Lucus
Just stop pimpin (STOP PIMPIN) Lucus
You can do it Pimp Lucus (you can do it)
Just cut it loose, let it go...
You can do it Pimp Lucus
I believe, oh I believe
Now y'all just come on shakes and give Pimp Lucus a hand as he leaves the stage (people clapping)
Come on show em some of that? gothic god? in yours"
Young Bishop Craig says "Pimp Lucus are you seriously about to stop pimpin and give yo life to God? "
Pimp Lucus stop dead in his tracks and looked at Young Bishop Craig and said "shh... shhh shhh shhhhh...
Na just ssssshhhhhhhhh"
Then Pimp Lucus says... "I, ah... I ain't goin ever stop p-p-p-p-p... pimpin
P-p-p-pimpin for life
I'm just here with a c-c-c-cousin
Chuuch! chuuch!
Now the only thing a pimp done caught up off in here is the HOL-ly ghost
Now come on Bishop Craig let's go get this mmm... mmm... money
C'mon, shit oops! "
[Reverend MJE:] "God goin do it for ya Pimp Lucus, you just wait and see, god done bless ya, hallelujah, hallelujah"

 

---

Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 20)

Chapter 20
Rosie's in the den sitting in her rocking chair
Reading the bible and it's so peaceful
Until (door opens) "He got the package Rosie! He got the package
Secret sweet bridges he done got the package! "
"Lawd have mercy Randolph what's done got into you?
And who got the package and what is the package? "
"The package Rosie... the big package"
"Ah hell I ain't got time to be playin with'chu (what you mean?) playin games and carrying on like if I want to play some games
(I wanna talk to ya when I tell ya) I'm a go ahead and turn on the TV and watch me some Wheel of Fortune"
"How the hell I'm a tell ya if you walking away from me... hmm... hm, hm... well hell with it then I ain't goin tell ya nothin
You must want to know... about the paaasssssstor"
" (Gasp) what about the pastor? "
"Wha... wha-wha-wha-wha-wha wha what? Did you hear that? Did somebody round here say sumthin? I thought I heard a-"
"Just quit playin and tell me what's going on with the pastor? "
"Well now you wanna know... I'll tell ya it's way better than peeking out them damn windows you be peeking out of (sucks teeth)
Ain't no pigeon goin shit on you listen to me" "RANDOLPH! "
"Okay, okay... lemme calm down... ooohh saahhh"
"I'll slap you with this hot water bag if you don't start talking to me! "
"Alright, alright, alright... I'm a talk to ya, and I'm a tell it all
I was at church in the pastor office cleaning up and next thing you know I was... "
[Randolph sings:] "Hmm, yes Lord... yes Lord, yea- (stops and drinks liquor) oooh, yeah loooorrrrr, what... "
[Someone shouts:] "I can't talk to you about that right now sister Marie, I got a phone call"
"Shit think shit think shit shit think Randolph... "
"Hmm, and that's when I got my ole ass in that closet"
[Rosie:] "Now quit cussin" "Now just shut'cha ass up and just listen Rosie
You say you wanna know... then I got in that closet and it all started to happen
The pastor came in; he was on the phone talking to a man"
"What's wrong with being on the phone talking to a man? "
"Well it all depends on what'chu saying... to that man
Now to make a long story short he said 'Rufus I miss you'
And I couldn't believe my ears when he said 'Chuck I miss you too'
And then his wife comes in starts pinching the bitch"
"I know meh don't like being in folk bidness but Randolph this is some juicy shit, what else"
"Anyway they arguing back and forth, pastor Rufus start try'na convince this man to let him come see him
But obviously he said no" "What else? "
"Nah calm down dammit wait a minute lemme think... oh, oh, he asked the pastor to stay in his life
But then the pastor said no" "God must be working on em, then what? "
"Pastor say 'Chuck let's meet and our spot, the Holidae Inn"
"And then? " "That's when" "When what? " "AHH, took another shot of that gin"
"Ooooh Randolph this is getting good, but what make ya say got the package? "
"When Chuck let em know" "know what" "that he's in the hospital-ooooooh (burps) "
"He got the package! " "Didn't I tell ya? " "He got the package Randolph you was right"
"Next time you listen to me when I'm try'na tell ya ass sumthin"
"Oh my god, where's my phone book? "
"What you need the phone book fo? ("Lord have mercy") Now don't go tellin everybody around town Rosie ("ahh he got the package")
With yo big mouth ass (door closes) shoot!
(Randolph drinks liquor and goes to sleep)

 

---

Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 21)

Sylvester goes home cause he had to change into more something comfortable like, another suit
Then he gets back in the car and Tawn looks at him and says "Man where's mine at? "
Sylvester says "where's your what? " Tawn says "My suit! "
Sylvester says "nigga what make you think you can fit a suit like this? " "Man I'm slim"
"Shit nigga you be looking like Arnold Schwarzenegger in my shit! Just stick to the jogging suits and Timbs
And leave the suits to me" "Cheah whatever you say bruh-in-law"
"Tawn listen... cause what we about to go I'm gonna need your full undivided attention"
"I'm listen" Sylvester starts reminding Tawn of his past and situations like this
When he lost his head, and then he looked at Tawn and says,
"Now when we get there it'll be a whole lot of fine bitches in there, with drinks in they glass and they hands in the air
But don't get caught up just keep focusing on me
Then will go downstairs it'll be a hallway with a couple of pitbulls and armed security up the axe"
"Yeah this on some ole movie shit" "Nigga this ain't TV you f*ck this up and our ass is grassed... you feel me? "
"Yeah I feel ya" "well make sure you do
Nah, they'll be a room will go in it it'll be about six or seven gentlemen there
Then they'll search and take my gun, say nothing just sit down in the chair"
"Man wouldn't it be better if I stand" "Nah because they don't like it when you stand
And Tawn, whatever you do don't stare"

[Joey:] "How ya doing Sylvester? " "What up Joey? " "Don't say my name, who's your new friend? "
[Tawn:] "I'm not a friend I'm his br... "
[Sylvester:] "Bruh-in-law, he's my bruh-in-law"
[Joey:] "Bruh-in-law is he, well he smells like a coppa to me"
[Tawn:] "A what? "
[Mob:] "Me too boss! "
[Tawn:] "MANNN! "
[Sylvester:] "T... ass grassed... that bring any kind of bells to you?
Now Joey the only reason I'm here is to discuss business with you"
[Joey:] "Yeah, yeah well I ain't discussing no bidness especially with mister, LL Fool J sitting here"
[Tawn:] "Who? " (Mobs laughs in background)
"I'ont like em"
[Sylvester:] "T, Joey"
"Sylvester I'm not about to sit here and take this shit from the blob father! "
"Now watch ya mouth you f*cking mully"
"Now Joey that's enough! "
"Yeah you right, fellas escort these gentlemen the f*ck up outta here"
[Mob:] "Alright let's go"
[Sylvester:] "Now wait a minute... Joey how long have you known me? "
[Joey:] "Obviously not long enough get em outta here"
"Wait... well how long have you known my father? "
"Six years protecting each other in jail, but'cha nothing like O'Dell
Youse young guys, you f*cking kill me, fellas"
"Alright, alright... Tawn wait outside for a minute"
"Sylvester I'm not about to lead you up in here with a—"
"I said wait outside for a minute... remember I got this, nigga"
"I'll be listening from the outside"
"Yeah, yeah whatever momma say knock you out, f*ck outta here... what you was running around with hotheads now? "
"Joey, I think you need to lay off of the pasta, it's getting to yo attitude"
"Yeah whatever, okay so let's make it quick, what do we got here? "
"Thursday twelve-O-clock midnight a train comes in from Indiana"
"Pff, yeah so what about it? "
"Well here's the deal... "
While Sylvester's talking, Tawn sits outside and falls to sleep...
[Joey:] "Yeah well what kind of money are we talking here? " "Joey I'm telling you, you can own a whole pasta factory"
[Mob laughs:] "Gee boss imagine that, your own pa... (clears throat) sorry"
[Sylvester:] Now all you have to do is... "
[Joey:] "You shittin me? " "I'm telling you the shit is real, hold on" (phone rings as guns point at Sylvester)
"Jesus fellas, it's just a phone, I got a phone call, hold on"
It's Gwendolyn on the phone saying "Sylvester what's wrong you left out and didn't even eat"
While Tawn in the hallway mean muggin and sizing up the security
Sylvester says "Can't talk now put the food in the refrigerator; I'll get to it later"
Joey says "hurry it up" he hangs up and asks for a pen and paper
Now Tawn turns the chair around and sits down puts his hand up and says "asshole"
Security looks at Tawn like he goin shoot him Tawn yells out "arm wrestle"
Now security looks at Tawn like it sounds tempting but he has a tape
Sylvester's telling Joey if everything goes smooth this is what will make
And now Joey checking out the piece of paper, Sylvester checks his watch then looks up at his goons
Security outside laughing at Tawn cause it looks like he's about to lose
Then Joey looks at Sylvester and says "what is this a joke? "
He pulls a gun out and says "yes but I'm the only one laughing, nigga don't get your ass smoked"
Tawn's straining and looking at his watch cause he know his time is up
He breaks the table takes the gun and point it at the guards and says "what, what what! "
Sylvester says "guns on the floor" then Tawn says "guns on the floor"
Then Sylvester says "safe, open it up" Tawn say "shut them punk ass dogs up"
Sylvester says "get on the flo, Joey don't make me have to ask you again, open up the motherf*cking safe! "
Joe says "forget about it" Tawn says "I'm bout to shoot me a motherf*cker today! "
Joey goons start getting up off the floor
Sylvester says "Joey don't make me do this" and then the strangest thing happened
They start moving in on em, getting closer and closer and closer
They start moving in on em, they getting closer and closer and closer
They start moving in on em, they getting closer and closer and closer
They start moving in on em "I'm a SHOOT ME A MOTHERF*CKER TODAY! " "Tawn! "
"I'm a SHOOT ME A MOTHERF*CKER TODAY! " "Tawn! "
[Tawn panicking:] "Wha, wha"
[Sylvester:] "Wake yo ass up! "
[Joey:] "Sylvester ya man's gonna be alright! "
[Sylvester:] "Ya Joey he'll be alright, f*ck is wrong with'chu? "
[Tawn:] "Man I had a motherf*cking dream, that all these muh-"
[Joey:] "Yeah more like a nightmare" (him and his goons laugh)
"Huff and stuff I'll show you a nightmare"
[Sylvester:] "Tawn, we did good let's go"
"What are you a wise guy, I'm just breaking your balls"
"Yeah, he's just breaking ya balls"
[Sylvester:] "Joey, Thursday night"
[Joey:] "Sylvester tell ya lovely wife Gwendolyn I said hello... this guy"

 

---

Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 22)

[Randolph on speaker:] "Hello Saint you reached Thorndale and Murner, leave yo name and number
We'll get back to ya, and oh yeah God bless"
[Rosie on speaker:] "Randolph I told you to shut the hell up! "
"Murner, this is Rosie, call me back I gotta tell ya sumthin about the pastor"
"Ole big mouth ass woman I shoulda never told yo ass that shit"
"Randolph shut up! "
And now the rumour...
[Gwendolyn:] "Hello, Cathy? "
[Cathy:] "Gwendolyn, how ya doing girl? "
"Have you heard anything about this package? "
"What package girl tell me what'cha talkin bout? "
"Rufus, Rufus your husband the package, I overheard that he got the package"
"Where you hear that from? "
"I ain't try'na say no names but I heard that the... "
[Rosie:] "Yeah that's right the package Murner, I can't believe he got the package Murner"
[Murner:] "Rosie are you sure about this? " "Yep" "Well tell me who told you this"
[Randolph:] "I told her ass"
"Randolph get off the damn line"
"Don't chu tell me to get off the line"
"Just get off the line"
[Sylvester:] "Speak on it"
[Gwendolyn:] "Sylvester? "
"Hey baby, what's good? "
"We gotta talk"
"Baby lemme call you back in ten minutes"
"No Sylvester we gotta talk right now"
"Okay, okay, what's going on? "
"Have you heard about this package? "
"Now Gwendolyn baby I know what'chu thinking that when the drug deal that was just—"
"I'm not talking about that kind of package; I'm talking about the pastor"
"The pastor? "
"Now listen to me... "
[Cathy:] "Sylvester this is Cathy I'm try'na get in touch with'chu
When you get a chance call me back, it's very important, here's my new number"
[Sylvester:] "Gwen baby listen just calm down, I'm on my way... hello"
[Cathy:] "Hello Sylvester"
"Cathy what the hell is going on, and what's up with this rumor I'm hearing about some f*cking package? "
"Na, na just calm down, I'm try'na figure it out myself, but I haven't talked to Rufus"
"Yeah, yeah well you better call me as soon as you hear something else" (hangs up phone)
[Officer:] "Chicago Police Department"
[Gwendolyn:] "Hello this is Gwendolyn for Sergeant James"
"Hold on, James you got a Gwendolyn on line 2"
[James:] "Hello? "
"James? "
"Gwen, yesterday you said we were threw"
"Yeah we are, but I think there is something that I outta tell you"
"Yeah what is that? "
"I got a friend named Cathy, who slept with Sylvester, now Cathy got a husband; he's a pastor, now with a guy name Chuck"
"What the f*ck? "
[Sylvester:] "Yeah what up Tawn? "
[Tawn:] "Sylvester I heard on the radio about this muhf*cking pastor and tombout he got the package"
"I know"
"Man I will bust a cap—"
"Calm yo ass down nigga this is a pastor we talking about and besides nigga you ain't even got no gun
Now call me back" (hangs up phone)
[Lady on phone:] "Dixie (Bridget cries) I said Dixie"
[Bridget cries:] "This is Bridget, and I would like to speak to Big Man"
"Just hold on honey, hell is wrong with her, Big Man! Big Man! Telephone! "
[Big Man:] "Who is it? "
"Some hussy"
"Hello? "
"Big Man"
"Bridget is that you? "
"Yes... I got sumthin to tell you"
"What"
"Well... it's hard to explain"
"Bridget talk to me"
"It's hard to explain"
[Pimp Lucus:] "Yeah Bishop Craig I tell a hoe like this 'I don't need'cha bitch I'll let the welfare feed'cha
Ya understand what I'm sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa saying
Hold on Pimp got a ph-ph-ph, phone ca-ca-call... hello... hey this bitch... who when and where got what?
The p-p-package, the p-p-package, the p-p-package, the p-p-package... "

[Characters talk in the background as song fades]

 

---

Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 23)

Well if this hasn't taught you nothin else
its taught you that
everybody's got a closet and
they' own problems that need solvin
Could this be another case
of what goes around
comes back around
and what goes up
must come--
Well yall've heard the saying
Yall get the point
Let me get back to the story
cause these next chapters of Trapped in the Closet
is gonna be so crazy.
Sylvester and Gwen chillin in the bed
Watchin TV
No Drama
Phone rings he says "Hello"
somebody says "Sylvester?"
he says "Who is this, and how did you get this number?"
Cathy and Rufus decides to do a little shoppin downtown
Only she can't, her phone rings again,
she says Rufus its those people again.
He says Hang up...Hang up!
Now everything seemed to calm down
between Big Man, James, and Bridget
'till Bridget gets a call
someone says "We wanna talk to you"
she says "Who is this?"
Mmhmm...Ah...Am I gonna be famous?
Twan on the corner in the front of the liquor store
talkin on his cell phone
somebody calls he switch over and says
SPEAK ON IT!...........WHO?
Man don't be f*ckin with me!
You shittin me?
How much am I gettin payed?
Then Rosie and Randolph gets a call. Hello?
Then..Then Tina and Roxanne gets a call. Hello?
Then Joey. Yeah Hello?
Reverend Mosley. Hello?
Big man. Dixie's.
James. Yeah?
Pimp Lucius. Hahahaha ha.
Now they tried and tried and tried and tried but there was no luck
When it came to gettin in touch
With Chuck...