Mirror of Distress Video (MV)

Okay
Lately I been seeing everything in slow motion
Feeling like I'm going through the motions
Feeling so conflicted in my mind it's hard to focus
Lost in cloud of emotions
Tryna find my way to cope with
Cope with all this pain of a heart that's been broken
Never thought I would but I almost started smoking
I wear a smile on my face deep inside I'm really hoping
That you do not notice through my eyes I'm really broken
I used to have a lot to say
Lately I'm saying less
I'm tired of explaining myself to those who could care less
I can't even hold you I'm tired of feeling depressed
Feeling overwhelmingly stressed
I get no sleep
I get no rest
I feel a mess
If I'm being honest I'm a wreck
Tryna keep my head above this water that's up to my neck
I was always taught to never let em see you sweat
So I let these tears spill on my pillow til its soaking wet
My heart feels frozen cold
Feels like a whole is in my soul
Wish I could run away but there's no where for me to go
I been tryna hold on to somethings I should probably let go
Gotta face this pain now
But I can't do this on my own

Look
I know I'm not perfect and
I ain't even tryna be
People see one side of me
And really think they know me
This is only one side
The side I let the world see
Cuz honestly they really couldn't handle my reality
My reality is that there's really nothing good inside of me
Wait... Wait... Wait...
Well...
I mean...
The part of me that hates spirituality
You know what I'm saying... like...
It's really like I'm...
It's really like I'm fighting me
That's why I be
Outwardly masking my feelings that I'm feeling internally
Saying that I'm feeling good when honestly I'm hurting see cuz
Honestly I really don't want you giving me sympathy and
I just wanna be happy outwardly and inwardly
But this
Pain living inside of inside of me
It ends up winning
It's something like a rollercoaster
That's living within me
So I just end up pretending and fake grinning
All to hide the fact
That I'm really struggling within and
Honestly I
Feel like I need some spiritual healing
My mind just got so many things on it that I just can't deal with
Enough is enough
Lately I been feeling like giving up
Because this walk ain't easy trust and believe that it's tough
It's hard tryna live righteous
Gotta obey when you don't like it
Be a light in the midst of darkness
Even when you're at your darkest
Even when you heart is broken
And tears are blurring your focus
Even when you're at your lowest
And no one seems to notice
Man its hard tryna live righteous

I be scared of failing
Scared of losing
Scared my heart will be abused
Scared my words be misconstrued
Scared to be vulnerable
Being taken advantage of
Taking my kindness for weakness
Cuz it ain't weakness it's meekness
Let me just tell the whole truth
Fear has been controlling me
It's poisonous its killing me
I been tryna figure out the problem
But I think it's me
Man
Truth is
I been tryna figure out the problem
But I think it's me