Paulo Santo - note to my sister Lyrics

I'm losing my mind like what you call so active Breaking the chains that label it rain
Ashamed of mistakes I made, a plate of what you call so crazy I've been living every day of
I was only active in my mind while my body on co-pilot Couldn't handle all the stress, my nigga, I'm so quiet
I wanna crawl up into a fetal position My oppositions be beating me to a pulp
Anxiety been crowding up all my thoughts Rent due, my nigga, I'm only 17
I wish I had a fair life, cause all my friends been living what I dreamt of
No perfect family or perfect home I ain't seen my sister in a couple years
And I just maybe fear that she forgot me I hope she don't ever think that I don't love her
I hope she don't ever think that I'm above her Cause I been thinking about you every day
What's your favorite song? Do you like yo ringtone
Is there any boys you need me to beat up? I'ma give it to them good, give em a clean up
I've been walking so strong just like a trooper Grandma gone, I sung her songs
Grandpa gone, he lost it all I've been walking this road feeling alone
These niggas can't even care I shed a couple tears
Been running from it so long that I can't even comprehend that I'm real
Been letting niggas know my story for a little while And I keep a smile for the ones that are worth my while
I been born through war Producing all my music by myself
Buying the equipment Niggas been feeling resentment for a long time
I been sharing the kitchen for a long time Looking at my idol, Kanye or Jermaine Cole
Rehearsing my lines for sure in front of the mirror In case I ever meet them
They say you shouldn't meet your idols Because you'll meet defeat
Instead of being happy, you can meet deceit Paying for that toll at the price of your brain
Looking at the ground while you call yourself insane
I been trying new methods Looking for a way to blow up
Because this shit ain't working I ain't sold my soul, I ain't dependable about it
I keep my head forward, keep working That's about it