Only Child - PARANOIA Lyrics

Shout out to all of my heroes, working at night just to stack up the bread
I hope they see zero on zero
Shout out to all of the people around me who wasn't there when there's a gun to my head
The people who sat there in silence not knowing the silence was breeding these thoughts in my head
Go 'head and replay that you heard what I said
Cause y'all really wanted your distance, when I really needed assistance
Cause I started rapping around the same time that I wanted to end my existence
I don't wanna write at this depth, this freestyle easy as breath
Let me get this shit off my chest
I know that the only thing promised is death
Opening track feel my heart race
It all started off with a heartbreak
Picked up a pen and I felt all the drums like the beat was the sound that my heart make
Then I started pounding the table and moving my flesh
Dreams in my head like could I be the best
Wanted to sit here and tell y'all the truth
And this Sunday morning I gotta confess
So I'm gonna sit here and tell you my sins
Put on a mask and let nobody in
Disguise myself as a rapper or artist so I don't need to confront the danger I'm in
Some girl that I rap about, one that I cheated on
One that I f*cked when her ex wasn't beating on
Now I'm complaining about how I don't see no more
One that I love that I'm still steady calling hoe
When am I gonna stop f*cking these girls
Find me a woman and make her my world
Or maybe all this is punishment and what I'm getting is what I have earned
I can feel one of my turns
I'd rather get cut than get burned
I'd rather stand up and get me a soapbox and tell you about all that I've learned
Shout out to all of my heroes
Ones that stood by me when I needed them most
Goodfellas, they Robert De Niro
They tried to call me some names on a post
I was on trial, I needed the votes
You took my case and you bled out they nose
Even when I couldn't, you stood on your toes
And that is the reason I stay TNO
And what is loyalty? Is it the blood?
Or is there water that's thicker than those
I feel like Noah predicting a flood
Y'all just too worried about money and hoes
I'm trying to warn you there's snakes in the grass
Won't mention names cause I've learned from the past
Everything we do is circular
Grab you a mirror and look in the glass
It begins and ends all with me
Addiction is a disease
Numbing you out so you'll miss all the curses residing on family trees
Trying to break them, we're breaking our backs
Grandfather's suffering, spirit attacks
Fathers that's raising a home without love
Focused on filling their wallets with cash
I know that I am still learning
Y'all didn't sign up for a sermon
Living my life trying to find me the truth
And you know that I'm dead and determined
Five:32 I can't sleep
My demons wrestling me
I just can't get out my head
Still paranoid that you're gon leave