Oneacis - Withdrawn Lyrics

I hate the way I'm sitting alone right beside my bed
Don't mind the isolation
Hate the voices in my head
I keep my blinds closed so I can't see myself
I'm sitting in the floor
I guess I'll stay awake instead
It's only time until I'm gone
I can't say it out loud so Imma put it in this song
The only person that I'm scared of hurting is my mom
I've already ended my relationships
They're gone
I've hurt myself and friends and now I'm waiting for their call
I hope it's sooner than later cause now I can barely walk
I wanna go out and feel better but I feel so withdrawn
I'm out of hope and now I'm scared of what my selfishness'll cost
I went to therapy for like a day
The man kept judging me
I couldn't open up or think
I couldn't even think of a
Single word to say
I couldn't tell him how my family was for their own sake
For me it felt like trying to get help was a mistake
I fake a smile
Say it's fine and go on with my day
My doctor told me I should meditate
But I can't concentrate
I'm too afraid to medicate
I'm scared to take the pills cause addiction runs in my family
Take a minute
Stay a while
I don't wanna stand up anymore
Hate the way I'm feeling
It's worse than the night before
I've laid in bed for hours
Now I'm layin' in the floor
I'm thinkin' bout my life
I don't know what I'm living for
Why is it this way?
Gotta lotta regrets that I still carry
Why don't I let em go?
Maybe I would be free
But I can't do that cause they're a part of me
Nobody told me I would feel this way
Even when I have faith in almost everything
I guess it's just gonna pass
But until that day
Imma write a few songs and continue to pray