October Evans - Sleeping Awake Lyrics

In the darkness I am bound to the pain
Always waking up to the cold rain
Lost and dizzy with disdain
Is there anyone here who can understand the state that I'm in?

Drinking every memory away
Trying to forget the trauma that I don't want to relive everyday
All I wish for is silence from the transphobic hate I suffer through
There seems to be no way to get through to you

I'm just sleeping awake
Knowing everything here is fake
I'm just sleeping awake
Trapped in the insanity, slowly starting to break
I'm sleeping awake watching everything disappear
I'm sleeping awake watching it all fall down, gone forever

Watching life fade in a blink of an eye
Too many chances I missed, feeling comfortably numb inside
Eyes wide open yet this pain clouds my sight
Lost along the way, wishing I was home in the mountains tonight

I'm just sleeping awake
Knowing everything here is fake
I'm just sleeping awake
Trapped in the insanity, slowly starting to break
I'm sleeping awake watching everything disappear
I'm sleeping awake watching it all fall down, gone forever

So many roads taken and yet on every road, I managed to derail
All my life, I was forced to learn how to fail
But I keep moving on, because second chances are still around
So, I ride on, finding myself again before it's too late to save myself now

Sleeping awake
Sleeping awake
Sleeping awake
Sleeping awake

Sleeping awake no more
I won't stay numb, missing too much of my life anymore
A new way to breathe again
20 years later, and here I am, letting out all the shit I was forced to hold inside