October Evans - 4 Walls Lyrics

In the dark, I smoke another cigarette
The thoughts from my mind hasn't given me rest
Constant pain that never goes away
All the years wasted in Post Traumatic sorrow
Tears I cry as I watch autumn leaves fall away
Dreading another transphobic tomorrow

These 4 walls, I paint my dreams and nightmares on blank canvas
Tired of all the same old shit
Can someone take me from this f*cked up life I live?
Holes being filled by forced enslavement that I won't forgive
Surrounded by those who fetishize my Gender Dysphoria
Trapped living in oligarchic Amerika

There's not much keeping me here anymore
It's the same old story as before
As the high gets closer to lethal decay
I shrink wrap the last breath, nothing left to give
F*cking 4 walls stained with my blood as I watch the world fade away
Don't give me your cum-stained gift

The question I have for you as I suffocate
Why the f*ck did you take my transgender innocence?
I've hidden myself inside from the world
Tired of the misgendering so please let me be a girl
I wanna walk away from everything
Tired of being forced to tolerate your white supremacy
Your white supremacy - f*ck you

F*ck you for raping me
F*ck you for breaking me
Why can't I be free to be me?
Why can't I be alive and breathing?
Your transphobic panic makes me afraid of you
Your Amerikan society has taught you to hate those different from you

The rain falls outside
The leaves on the ground
The cold weather fits my black heart inside this Gender Dysphoric soul
F*ck it...
I'm done
(There's nothing left here for me anymore)