Buried Alive Video (MV)

I've had it up to here
Seeing my reflection vodka clear
Heavy words tattooed in my flesh effortlessly they smear
Under blood like it means any less in a mirror
Look at you you motherf*ckin' waste
You haven't moved a muscle in at least four days
Yet you stay lost in this fantasy of bein' on stage
Like anybody's gonna give a f*ck what you say
I'm anxious - I don't know how much longer I can take this
Can't afford a doctor much less the medication
So I'm poppin' and drinkin' whatever the doctor is in
And I'm over prescribed like I've got something contagious
This disease has held onto me like hell
I've quarantined myself - I don't need your help
I went off the deep end - I fear I'm 'bout to drown
But I'm okay - Try to pull me out and I'll just pull you down
I used to think that I could fly
I reached to the stars but they never reached to me
I could never f*ckin' get it right
I'm staring at the light through a thin white sheet
It's a brand new day but the same old me
Can't crawl out this hole it's dug too deep
Just hit six feet, keep diggin' and diggin'
It's a brand new day but the same old me
What would my younger self think of me now?
I remember being 12 and dreaming about
Being a rapper putting my first CD out
I can't hear myself breathe from him screaming so loud
But I agree with him; I don't really like me either
There's something noxious inside me deeper
Than the liquor can reach - gripping harder by each
Second - I'm so eagerly helpless - I'm already prepared to
Not come close to bouncing back this time
I'm deflating as I put a pen to each line
So the next time I hit a wall I'll fall flat
This gift is a curse - rewrap it and send it back
I don't want it
Every minute I waste is manifesting into something I am too afraid to face
It's pulling me under - I am not okay
This shit makes me dread every moment I'm awake
I used to think that I could fly
I reached to the stars but they never reached to me
I could never f*ckin' get it right
I'm staring at the light through a thin white sheet
It's a brand new day but the same old me
Can't crawl out this hole it's dug too deep
Just hit six feet, keep diggin' and diggin'
It's a brand new day but the same old me
One more tomorrow has found me
One more wall crumbling around me
No more swimming to the surface to remind myself I'm drowning
One more tomorrow has found me
One more wall crumbling around me
No more swimming to the surface to remind myself I'm drowning
I used to think that I could fly
I reached to the stars, but they never reached to me
I could never f*ckin' get it right
I'm lookin' at the light
Staring through a thin white sheet
I used to think that I could fly
I reached to the stars, but they never reached to me
I could never f*ckin' get it right
I'm lookin' at the light
Staring through a thin white sheet
It's a brand new day but the same old me