The Nostalgia Machine Experience - Five Hundred Degrees Lyrics

Listen folks here's a P.S.A.
About a lesson I learned today
Watch out baby for that aftershave
Keep it off your balls and on your face
Gather 'round and hear my tale
Of aftershave, the fiery gale
Once it seemed so innocent
But now I know, it's an irritant
Five, five hundred degrees
Brings a grown man to his knees
I'll spread the word, far and wide
Aftershave's a risky ride
From the burn of aftershave I've fled
Now I'll stick to lotion instead
Smooth and cool, it's what I need
To save my skin from such cruel deeds
So heed this wisdom, mark my words
Aftershave's not for tender herds
Keep it on your face, my friends
Or risk the burn that never ends
Five, five hundred degrees
Brings a grown man down to his knees
Squawkin' like a bird
Screamin' Lord, help me please
But now I've learned my lesson well
No more stories left to tell
Keep that aftershave up high
Or else you'll hear this grown man cry
So heed this warning, one and all
Aftershave's not for every call
Keep it off those tender parts
Or risk the pain that truly smarts
Five, five hundred degrees
Lesson learned, it's plain to see
I'll sing this song, loud and clear
Aftershave, beware, my dear
Five, five hundred degrees
Five, five, five hundred degrees
Five, five, five hundred degrees