Nicólas Soul - Soul Session IV (feat. Sean Blackthorn) Lyrics

I don't have anymore fight in my soul.
When I feel you, I lose control.
I didn't want this on your page.
Now we're separated, and I'm in shame, on this

What happened to my old self?
I'm feeling like
"F*ck it though oh well"
Grinding all those summers like an OL
I used to be scared of my goals
Like I'm gone fail (ugh)
Now my niggas saying
"We gone make it"
I took my desperation
Out of that came greatness
Flipped the whole shit
Like I'm living in the Matrix
I took a red pill
And that shit left me brainless
So
Now my eyes less vivid
I see my destination
But I feel don't near it
Living with some demons
In my mind
So I'm faded
I hit the blunt once
Then I'm calm and sedated (Ugh)
I often think I'm wrong in my ways
My cousins back home
Feel a strong sense of craze
Wondering why you'd even smoke
"Man that's lame"
Not understanding
Being black here is a pain
That you suffer
That you go through
And these people really try to f*cking hold you
Hating ya skin
And you try to stay hopeful
Like
Bitch nigga you would smoke too
Stressed out
Only 22
And I'm trynna do this shit for family too
Who probably hate my f*cking guts
Cause I rap now
Made my peace with it
Can't go back now

Feeling like I'm losing myself
Losing my health
Trynna deal with the hand that was dealt
I been
Sleeping with women who don't love me
Trynna make myself feel a lil less ugly
Like do you love me?
What's the reasoning?
I hate feeling so damn needy
I find myself staring at the sky sometimes
Still trynna figure out the meaning