Wake up in the morning 'bout half past six
Knocking at the door you gonna let me in
I'm Tiger I'm Tiger I'm hungry you're tired
Crush a little pill with the fancy feast
Mix it with the water give me something to eat
I'm Tiger I'm Tiger I've got a hyperthyroid
Well the doctor says I got crystals in my urine
I don't think that's much of her concern
'Bout as damn healthy as a cat can be
I like to eat just as much as I like to sleep
And I know one day I'll lay me down
I'm climbing on the counter what you think about that
Waiting by the cupboard gonna catch me a rat
I'm Tiger I'm Tiger I'm a hunter not a fighter
Now I'm pawing at the door you better let me out
Waiting by the window gonna catch me a mouse
I'm Tiger I'm Tiger half wild half insider
I like to go outside and pee in the garden
If you squeeze my tummy you can hear me fart
'Bout as damn healthy as a cat can get
I know the whole neighborhood like the back of my hand
And I know one day I'll lay me down
Now my teeth are falling out and they smell real bad
You can never find me when it's time for a bath
I'm Tiger I'm Tiger I'm a talker not a biter
Splish splish splash goes the water in the sink
Soap on my nose gotta wash out the stink
I'm Tiger I'm Tiger I'm getting older but not wiser
I sleep in a box on the radiator
If you scratch my ears you can hear me purr
'Bout as damn healthy any cat you'll find
Ignore the smell just pay it no mind
I know one day I'll lay me down
I wanna die in a tuna fish can
Nobody knows how old I am
I'm Tiger I'm Tiger you only fed me once I ain't a liar
And I imagine heaven as a vacant lot
I've been a pretty good cat I hope they save me a spot
I'm Tiger I'm Tiger don't wanna burn in eternal fire
But when I die know Max'll turn me
To a mount on the wall with taxidermy
Damn healthy cat but I'll die one day
With no regrets cuz I did it my way
And I know one day I'll lay me down
And then you'll have no cat around